"I will not forgive," she said. - I will remember.

"Sorry," the Angel asked her. "Forgive me, it will be easier for you."

"No way," she pursed her lips stubbornly. "This can not be forgiven." Never.

"Are you going to take revenge?" He asked worriedly.

"No, I will not take revenge." I will be higher than this.

"Do you crave severe punishment?"

"I do not know what punishment would have been sufficient."

- Everyone has to pay for their decisions. Sooner or later, but to all ... "the Angel said quietly. - It's unavoidable.

- Yes I know.

"Then forgive me!" Take off the cargo. You're now far from your abusers.

- No. I can not. And I do not want to. There is no forgiveness for them.

"All right, it's yours," Angel sighed. "Where do you intend to keep your grievances?"

"Here and here," She touched her head and heart.

"Please be careful," Angel asked. - The venom of offense is very dangerous. It can settle with a stone and pull to the bottom, or it can give rise to a flame of rage that burns all life.

"It's a Memory Stone and Noble Rage," She interrupted. "They're on my side."

And resentment settled where she said - in the head and heart.

She was young and healthy, she was building her life, hot blood was flowing in her veins, and the lungs eagerly inhaled the air of freedom. She married, gave birth to children, got friends. Sometimes, of course, she took offense at them, but mostly forgave. Sometimes she was angry and quarreled, then they forgave her. In life there was everything, and she tried not to remember her offense.

Many years passed before she heard this hateful word again - "forgive."

- My husband betrayed me. With children constantly friction. Money does not like me. What to do? She asked the elderly psychologist.

He listened attentively, clarified a lot, for some reason kept asking her to talk about childhood. She was angry and was translating the conversation now, but he again brought it back to childhood. It seemed to him that he was wandering around the back streets of her memory, trying to consider, pull out that long-ago resentment. She did not want this, but because she resisted. But he still saw, meticulous this uncle.

"You need to be cleaned," he summed up. - Your grievances have grown. On them, later grievances, like polyps on a coral reef, were accumulated. This reef has become an obstacle to the flow of life energy flows. From this you have problems in your personal life, and finances do not go well. This reef has sharp edges, they hurt your tender soul. Inside the reef, various emotions have settled and become entangled, they poison your blood with their waste of life, and this attracts more and more new settlers.

"Yes, I also feel something like that," the woman nodded. - From time to time become nervous, sometimes depression crushes, and sometimes everyone just wants to kill. Okay, I need to clean. But as?

- Forgive that first, most important insult, - advised the psychologist. - There will be no foundation - and the reef will crumble.

- Never! The woman said. - This is a just insult, because it was so! I have the right to take offense!

- Do you want to be right or happy? Asked the psychologist. But the woman did not answer, she just got up and left, taking her coral reef with her.

Some more years passed. The woman was sitting at the reception again, now with the doctor. The doctor examined the pictures, leafed through the analyzes, frowned and chewed his lips.

"Doctor, why are you silent?" She could not resist.

"Do you have any relatives?" Asked the doctor.

- Parents have died, with the husband in divorce, and children are, and grandsons too. And why do you need my relatives?

- You see, you have a tumor. Here - and the doctor showed in the picture of the skull, where she has a tumor. - Judging by the analysis, the tumor is not good. This explains your constant headaches, and insomnia, and rapid fatigue. The worst thing is that the neoplasm has a tendency to rapid growth. It increases, that's bad.

- And what, I now have an operation? She asked, cold with horrible apprehensions.

"Oh no," and the doctor frowned even more. - Here are your cardiograms for the last year. You have a very weak heart. It seems that it is clamped on all sides and can not work at full power. It may not transfer operations. Therefore, first you need to heal the heart, and only then ...

He did not finish, but the woman realized that "then" could never come. Or the heart will not stand, or the tumor will crush.

"By the way, you do not really have a blood test either." Hemoglobin is low, high white blood cells ... I will prescribe medications for you, "said the doctor. "But you must also help yourself." You need to bring the body in a relative order and at the same time morally prepare for the operation.

- But as?

- Positive emotions, warm relations, communication with relatives. Fall in love, in the end. Look through the album with photos, remember the happy childhood.

The woman just grinned wryly.

"Try to forgive all, especially the parents," the doctor suddenly suggested. "It makes my soul very easy." In my practice, there have been cases where forgiveness has worked miracles.

- Oh really? The woman asked ironically.

- Imagine. In medicine, there are many auxiliary tools. Quality care, for example ... Caring. Forgiveness can also become a medicine, and it's free and without a prescription.

Forgive. Or die. Forgive or die? Die, but do not forgive? When the choice becomes a matter of life and death, you only need to decide which way you are looking.

Headache. The heart was pouring. "Where will you keep your grievances?". "Here and here." Now it hurt. Perhaps, the insult grew too much, and she wanted more. She wanted to drive out her mistress, to take possession of the whole body. A stupid insult did not understand that the body could not stand, would die.

She remembered her main offenders - those from childhood. Father and mother, who all the time either worked, or swore. They did not like her the way she wanted it. Nothing helped: no fives and laudable letters, no fulfillment of their demands, no protest and rebellion. And then they parted, and each started a new family, where she did not have a place. At the age of sixteen she was sent to a technical school, to another city, having stuck her a ticket, a suitcase with things and three thousand rubles for the first time, and all from now on she became independent and decided: "I will not forgive!". She wore this insult in herself all her life, she swore that resentment with her and die, and it seems that it is so true.

But she had children, grandchildren, and widower Sergei Stepanich from work, who tried to take care of her awkwardly, and did not want to die. Well, really, here - it was too early for her to die! "We must forgive," she decided. "At least try it."

"Parents, I forgive you for everything," she said uncertainly. The words sounded miserable and unconvincing. Then she took a paper and a pencil and wrote: Dear parents, dear parents! I'm not angry anymore. I forgive you for everything.

Her mouth was bitter, her heart sank, and her head ached even more. But she, with a tight grip on the pen, stubbornly, time after time, wrote: "I forgive you. I forgive you". No relief, only irritation arose.

"Not so," the Angel whispered. "The river always flows in one direction." They are older, you are younger. They were before, then you. You did not create them, but they did you. They gave you the opportunity to appear in this world. Be grateful!

"I'm grateful," the woman said. "And I really really want to forgive them."

- Children do not have the right to judge their parents. Parents do not forgive. They ask for forgiveness.

- For what? She asked. "Have I done something bad to them?"

"You did something bad for yourself." Why did you leave that insult in yourself? What is your headache? What kind of stone do you wear in your chest? What poisons your blood? Why does not your life flow like a full-flowing river, but flowing in thin streams? Do you want to be right or healthy?

- Is it all because of the resentment of the parents? Did she destroy me like this?

"I warned you," Angel reminded him. - Angels always warn: do not save, do not wear, do not hurt yourself with insults. They rot, stink and poison all life around. We warn! If a person makes a choice in favor of resentment, we do not have the right to interfere. And if in favor of forgiveness - we must help.

"Can I still break this coral reef?" Or is it too late?

"It's never too late to try," the Angel said gently.

"But they died a long time ago!" There is no one now to ask for forgiveness, and how to be?

- You ask. They will hear. Or maybe they will not hear. In the end, you do it not for them, but for yourself.

"Dear parents," she began. - Forgive me, please, if something is not right ... And in general, forgive everything.

She spoke for a while, then stopped and listened to herself. No miracles - my heart aches, my head hurts, and no special feelings, all as always.

"I do not believe myself," she confessed. - So many years have passed ...

"Try it another way," Angel advised. "Be a child again.

- How?

- Go down on your knees and turn to them, as in childhood: Mom, Dad.

The woman paused and knelt. She folded her arms, looked up and said: "Mom. Dad". And then again: "Mom, Dad ...". Her eyes opened wide and began to fill with tears. "Mom, Dad ... it's me, your daughter ... forgive me ... forgive me!". Her chest was shaken by the approaching sobbing, and then tears gushed with a stormy stream. And she kept repeating and saying:

"Excuse me. Please forgive me. I had no right to judge you. Mother, father…".

It took a long time before the streams of tears dried up. Exhausted, she sat right on the floor, leaning against the sofa.

- How do you? Asked the Angel.

- I do not know. I do not understand. It seems I'm empty, "she answered.

"Repeat this every day for forty days," said the Angel. - As a course of treatment. Like chemotherapy. Or, if you want, instead of chemotherapy.

- Yes. Yes. Forty days. I will.

Something pulsed in his chest, tingling and rolling in hot waves. Maybe it was the fragments of a reef. And for the first time in a long time absolutely, well, just about anything, my head did not hurt.