6game.

Prayer…
Greetings of the reality in which all elements
  and all living and non-living beings appear as if
themselves, in which they are for a while
  exist and which then come back ...

The moment is our only reality. When we remember ourselves in the moment, life becomes more intense and more juicy. Our body, mind and soul reach harmony, which brings great peace. When you experience something beyond the mind, the mind will create doubt, will argue against it, and make it so that you will be embarrassed about it. This is his own technique. He can not produce anything of this quality that creates the present moment. In fact, the mind is not creative at all. All creativity in any direction of life comes from no-mind - the greatest pictures, music and poetry. All that is beautiful. Everything that makes a person different from animals - comes from this small moment. If you consciously enter it, it can lead you to enlightenment. If by chance it happens, then it still leaves a tremendous silence, relaxation, peace and reasonableness. "
OSHO.
In the meantime, some of the players of the Sixth Winter Remote Games, have passed the mark of the sixth game.
Reading about how players played the drawings of Life, you are invisibly in touch with the ways of playing at all levels of the game of Consciousness.

• A new model of behavior: at the moment of danger (the emergence of emotion and the desire to reproduce) to remain silent! Find the words CURRENT, QUIET, CORRECT. Be honest with yourself. Go to the communication of whatever it costs (by any means including electronically). Breathe! Shut up! Track negative thoughts-do not believe them. Transcoding. Recheck: is this true? To direct the energy of love in the heart to the head into the mind. Persuasion: people are all different, but they are united by one thing - they all need love, and I can give it to her. I can do a lot (because Bozhenka gave me abilities). I am worthy of joy, respect. I love myself. In fact, communication can bring so much joy and benefit, or I can help someone. I communicate - I live.
• Of course, I understood, this is my mirror (there are no random persons in the field). What a miserable thing. When I behave this way. There is no desire to go back there (I regret myself). I understood that this is a way of getting love from outside. And in fact, only destruction. The feeling lived is such freedom. A new vision: you can feel compassion, you can even listen, but do not get attached, do not get involved. And to continue to communicate is possible, giving minutes of joy or pleasant conversation. After all, I saw, again, how I want to cut everything off and run away, but in fact it is possible and in a different way. You can communicate and negotiate. Hmm, cool! Everyone gets what he needs - everything goes according to the grandiose plan of Life.
• My husband is trying to cook something for breakfast. And feed me. And he cooks fried, fatty, that my character can not be eaten. Yes, and he does not want, but he does not want to listen. So now he pressed all the fatty, but very much. How will he eat this alone? After all, I refuse these dishes! Sits surrounded by this breakfast. Event - my husband made breakfast. The mind says - you can not eat such food - it's bad. The mind says you can not refuse, you must eat and not argue. I catch the moment of forgetting myself. Stop! Who am I? My task is not to identify with the characters, with the mind and feelings. Once identified. I am Consciousness. I play all roles - Consciousness. There is no one who appreciates, satisfied and not pleased. Nothing to do is not necessary. Everything just happens. There is no one who is waiting for approval and recognition, thanks. I'm watching. Characters have breakfast. Who plays the roles of these characters? Player one! Who cares, who has what food? Everything just is. Nobody here. I identify with myself. I am Consciousness.
• D. promised to arrange a meeting for the new year. Does not call. The ego says - do not call yourself. It should not be. Wrong. I remember that the character is not me. I am the one whom it does not affect. Who's waiting? Is there anyone who promised? There is no one. Consciousness plays like that. Thanking with love. Thought - now D. as always begins to whine, complain, talk nonsense. Yes, so be it. Let him cry out for pity. There is no one to regret. I stop evaluating the actions of my character. Consciousness so desired - to call. What the Consciousness identifies with does not really exist. I am reality, the rest is an illusion. It's just the experience
• Consciousness gets through these characters. Say goodbye. Life is so short. Give thanks. What difference does it make who will first wish to remember. There is no grudge against anyone. There is no guilt. If there is resentment, guilt - then there is an identification with someone. Nobody owes anyone. It just happens. Called. Letting go. Adoption. The energy went. I've done a lot of things - this is my character - also an illusion. As well as a lot of things. The one who is active and passive is also I. Everything is Consciousness. Who is sad? And who is happy? I - Consciousness - I observe, without evaluating what is happening. Everything goes as it is.
• Everything is subject to change. We planned to be at home with our husband on New Year's Eve. The daughter invited them to come in, at least for two hours. My husband agreed. We were going to go to my daughter. Suddenly he began to cough badly. Was quite normal. The daughter is already waiting, the grandchildren are happy. Drawing Consciousness - now I'm identified with the character, I'll feel sorry for my husband, sit next to him and listen to his "whining". The husband says - go alone. I remember who I am? Who plays all the roles? I'm going to go. The daughter says - let him come, what is, we are not afraid of his cough. Nothing happens to anyone. Everything just is. We saw a festive fireworks display that was visible from their high-rise building. Whoever "plans" is not a character. I remember that everything around is Consciousness. Everything comes from emptiness and goes into emptiness. Only the present is real. I'm watching, not appreciating, I just need to be. Nothing to do is not necessary.
• Heaviness in the head, sadness, desire to change, the thought "every man for himself, there is no collective", an event: a campaign for the corporate. The first part of the evening, the meeting, the sincere joy-the desire to live, everyone was open, shared their experiences, summed up the results. Usually I do not stay on the second part, I leave first. Today I stayed, and when I began to leave, I felt abandoned and lonely. With this and settled in practice. Living the intention of life to change, behind which there is a fear of loneliness, came the realization that we are all connected at any moment of life, and all who were at this evening and not only. As the vibrations that I felt on holotropic breathing, all those who vibrate with me on the same frequency are attracted, we get the experience of interaction, raise or lower each other's vibration and scatter each in its direction. At the level of vibration there is no loneliness, everything is whole. At the level of behavior, I conducted all those who had left earlier, boldly went into solitude, to remain without colleagues.
• Sms N. wrote, she received the answer right there, she informed me how much she had left, how she got home, that her granddaughter felt better, a little scolded yesterday's kitchen, I wrote my opinion, the world. What is my game? I acted from the position of the mirror, expecting to see my reflection, today I reflected the world.
• Zalozhennost right nostril, anger-desire to fight, the thought "they do not walk with her," with her granddaughter do not go for a walk. How much I do not hear about it, rejection, senselessness. Here and now I live in a body senselessness, understanding, struggle with reality, a dwarf replays, I get involved, thinking that the granddaughter, the children - this is real. At the level of behavior, letting go of the situation, letting everyone live his life.
• The thought "I can not make it", granddaughters must come, and by their arrival I promised to make a special breakfast. If I do not have time, I will be a bad grandmother, I will be rejected, life will lose its meaning. Here and now I live in a body senselessness, rejection. Understanding that they will come to us not only because of breakfast, it's the machinations of the carlos, at the level of behavior immediately after the practice I'll start to cook, I will not be in time, so all right, while the gifts are being considered, I will finish everything.
• Bummer, promise, participation, help, expectation to make a neighbor - nice, help to buy a chest of drawers, and she is already preparing a place for him, but alas, the trick failed. Who is puzzled? Ha! Again he is invisible, disappointed. Holding a pause, so as not to rush with explanations, carrying a sense of guilt, running away from loneliness, etc. Awakening, uncovered A source of gratitude for this rally ...
• The weak, debilitated condition of his father once again causes pity. All, stop goes identification with the character, awareness of the naturalness of aging, acceptance and the appearance of life, which opens the heart, teaches love, humility ...
• The girlfriend came to help, the awareness of the tension from her loud continuous conversation, from the violent behavior, the meaning of the conversation is lost, tension in the nape, fatigue. Who strains? In this strain, wine, rejection, loneliness is buried. The desire for a quick result is to finish what was started. And who owns this vinaigrette? He is not ... There is no one. Accurate hit in a space where there is no obligation. And simply there is movement of energy of working process and observation from a state of rest and gratitude. There is silence, Unity. Peace.
• S. again speaks to me irritably. I notice, it touches me a little. But I'm vigilant. I tell him gently: why are you talking to me like this? Answer: because you deserve it. His words do not hurt, his emotions of irritation, anger hurt him. It becomes not comfortable. I ask: Than you are better than me. Responds: nothing, I'm annoyed by your silly lectures, O., you fly in the clouds. I understand, he does not accept what I'm doing. But this is a consequence. What? He mirrors me. Maybe I'm too fanatical in my search. Or maybe I get the consequences of my words and deeds earlier and now live fear of humiliation. Or Consciousness through S. helps me to stop being a victim. Or this is mental protection. It is necessary to solve the problem. That's already getting interesting. It's not in the dark anymore. And now, so I did not say, he does not even want to listen. Immediately thought: it's hard for me. Who is difficult? Mind. Everything falls into place. The game is on.
• S. began to resent again. Recently, I began to respond to his words, trying to understand, keep quiet - will not solve the problem. I say that I do not like his attitude to me. I say: I'm your mother. In my words there is no indignation, my tone is calm. soft. Am I suppressing anger? Or I develop sympathy, patience, humility. I understand that I need time to solve this problem. I spent so much time with her and did not think how to solve it specifically. I say: dragon: let your furious head rest, release wise, you're wise for me. Comparison with the dragon he likes. He smiles. At the time, S. calms down.
• But by evening my harmonious state changed to disharmonious. When I saw that S. threw out the hood for steaming the face out of the cosmetic device. When he throws out my things, my self-control ends. I did not reproach, did not offend, I just asked: why he throws out and does not ask me: do I need these things? I cried and was not afraid to be weak. She showed that there were so many old things that were not needed, but he threw away mine. So it was insulting. In this case, I was not going to be silent. This question had to be solved. But the most interesting was, he was found to me on the Internet the same device and ordered it.
• The ex-husband suddenly hugged me and said pitifully: "I missed him." I did not even understand what he was talking about. I'm pulling back. He says that he saw me today in a dream and was having sex with me. I observe four points: the physical body started, the etheric burst, and began to feel subtle vibrations, the astral desire, and there's a sharp denial inside me (I have no feelings for it). Thanks to this, the drawing saw the conflict between the desires and needs of the soul. It is this moment: the basis for controlling feelings and sensations.
• I have a strong sensuality and sensitivity. In childhood I was taught to be ashamed of her. In my youth, I could not resist (often enough) in front of man's desires, getting many connections and emptiness. I have not realized yet that these are not my desires, but I catch men's. Then control began. So as not to "let out sensuality," even in a dream, she refused sex. The result: a lot of female diseases, withered.
• I notice: if in the ZD games 2016-2017 I was very worried when I communicated with the state. bodies, experiencing a lot of fears, now, in a similar situation, all this simply passes. I do not have this.
• My sister-in-law described the state. office in one area is extremely negative, and she received a lot of problems. In this area in this office, I got a lot of tips, very well talked with my curator. That's what different perception means. I immediately pushed her perception away. And I had no expectations. Yes, I waited a line for almost 1.5 hours. But this I enjoyed, because could calmly read and realized even deeper the nature of death, realizing that it is not at all. Seeing even in the corpse of life ...
• Conflict between the desired and the present: I want to be with him (in tch sexuality), but he is not. THOUGHT: if you "let go" sensuality, then it can be realized only in sex and sexuality. TELESNYE FEELING: burning in the chest, light not comfort in the abdomen. The left thigh is de-energized. This state (although I tracked it) remained the background while I was in college. On the way home continued: BODY: heaviness in the gastrointestinal tract, with an accent in the biliary-excretory pathways. A new layer of the warehouse of unextended emotions opened. Again the cycle: rejection-frustration-anger-the desire for control-the fear of losing the source of love-abandonment-the fear of freedom-acceptance-love-comfort
• The latter did with concentration on the heart (on love) and the awareness that I see a dream. The state of unreality of what is happening, as if "not included 100% of consciousness into reality" thought it was associated with pain and tears. But this state remained in joy, and after yesterday even intensified: life in a dream or in reality is a dream.
• At home I lay down to rest in the afternoon. The body is relaxed. I myself was determined to recognize sleep and sleep. It was an interesting experience: it caught the mind, how it builds images and adds them. With the understanding that this is a dream.
• Today plans to come to A., I built plans as his meeting. But Ch. Did not leave. (this was not part of my plans) When A. I wrote that I was traveling, I felt a strong excitement. His legs gave way, and nausea appeared. Since Ch. Left the city and had to return only late at night, the opportunity to see A. was still there. I got into practice right away, as I felt the reaction of the body. Hands numb, legs weak, nausea. I watch the breath. Emotion is a sadness, a sense of guilt. Thoughts: I am a traitor, I'm bad, it's wrong. Fear that everything will be learned by Ch., Abandonment and fear of freedom. When I throw it is normal, and when I'm thrown, it hurts, poor victim. The ego wants the last word to be mine. Identified with the body, with the character who wants to be loved. I continue to watch the breath, the body as a cold. Ugh! I'm not a body-watching. No
• bad and good. There are no bad and good. Probably, what happens is Ch. You also need to live. I behave very boldly, and he accepts me with humility. We all these days live as close friends, but not as partners for sex and this is my initiative. Therefore, the feeling of guilt, in fact, I do not want to admit that it is the same as he. Suffered because of his betrayal, because of his second life, and now behave the same way. He is not here. Only I. It is my reflection. I am his reflection. I'm filled with gratitude to him. Letting go.
• Morning. Heaviness in the chest. Emotion is sad. Feeling of Emptiness. I'm starting to do meditation on LD. First I direct on myself, then on C., then on A. 20 minutes fly by like one instant. The body was filled with pink light. It is glow and softness. Love. I understand that I released Ch., But I still love him. A feeling of gratitude for all the lessons, for all the blessings, for Love, for the Path. I switch attention to A. Well, they could not give me another man. Ha ha ha. So I want to say: the same eggs only in the profile. I see in it my mistakes in relations with Ch. There is no relationship, only lessons and conclusions. My tendency is to plan and organize everything. I thank the mind for this trait, but I need it at work. Ha ha ha !!! There is no relationship. The way a man thinks and organizes. Letting go. There are no men. There are only my mirrors. And the illusions of my mind. This is such a cool moment of awareness. He flashes and is again lost in the wilds of the mind.
• Today is a day's mood. My mother in the house accident, the heating broke through. Difficult and expensive repairs. There are no moods, because I have to pay everything. It was not my plan. Ahead of the trip, not everything is ready. Irritation. Mom asks stupid questions, hysterical. Annoyed at her and say that there is no money. Stop! It just happened. Mom is not involved here. This is my rally. I calm her down. I understand that I'm telling myself all the words. I call my eldest son with a request to move the furniture, he immediately mirrors me: I hurry to the office, I have no time! Ha ha ha is almost the same as what I tell my mother. Then he calls back in a calm voice, decided the question with his assistants. My story, everything about me. My son!!! Thank you Consciousness, played out!
• A. Does he want to seem worse than he is? No, I idealize it. Another tendency is to cling and suck in the ideal that the mind has built. To see what is not. What for? What's terrible, if not perfect? Fear to admit that in fact I may not be interested in him, it's just so convenient for him. Rejection, loneliness. I remember about gratitude. In fact, the mind again has fun with something that does not and suffers. And what is there? There is a loving kindness in the heart and it is no longer important to whom she is, just have !!! And for this I thank the Consciousness and all the characters that help me to realize this.
• Yesterday I decided to go to the spring for water before work. It is dark outside. Spring in the forest. I went out into the yard, and my dog ​​somewhere has already screwed up a walk. I called her, but she was not there. I'm very good and clear, for all the time I realized that this is the Game. On Saturday evening, I safely "otmazalas" from going to the forest in the dark at night in proud solitude. But I knew, and now I saw that trying to deceive Life does not work, you can only postpone the Rally for a while, no more. Before the forest went, periodically examining the neighborhood and listening. When I went into the forest, I mentally greeted all its inhabitants and asked permission to go. In the forest stopped more often, and listened. A little later I felt that the animals in the forest also stop periodically to assess the situation, choose the direction, etc. This is a normal process. And in life, I, too, do so, however, when pripret. Who said that you need to go ahead?
• When I gained water, I felt light, a feeling of dissolution in space. Even the density of air and light became somehow different. It is clear that it was light, but this was not due to the approach of dawn.
• It was easy going back. And I caught myself that this lightness and calmness I begin to attribute to my merits. Ego. Dwarf. What is the Ego? It's just a thought in my head.
• At some point, I was frightened by accepting a tree as a person. Who's afraid? Character. Who am I? Consciousness. When I came out of the forest, I felt that I felt more secure there.
• On the way home from somewhere in the darkness a dog rushed at me. But I felt neither fear nor anger. When she ran, I told her quietly, "Shh, silently." I felt her touch the nose of my boot and run away. What is inside of me, then outside.
• After yesterday's incident, I had the opportunity to stay at home. Two hours after I woke up, I felt much better. There was weakness in the body and light dizziness, but somewhere inside I felt strength. And thanks to this force, the idea that, despite normal well-being, you can not go to work, somehow did not cause consent. If I can do, then I must do, if there is time and opportunity for something, I have to use it, not dodge myself and pretend to be a victim. I got ready and went to work.
• R. went with friends to snowboard. Failed, got involved, identified with the false. Stay in a dream of the second level-in thoughts, in a fantasy world. The mind began to draw pictures, fear of loss, loneliness, a sense of excitement. Stop! I'm aware of who I am! Who's afraid? I go out again and again from the world of fantasy and faith in its reality and stay in a non-dual contemplation, through staying in the original state of Who I am. I open up to experience, let everything happen, as it happens, nothing can touch me, and experience is the most interesting thing in a dream! This experience is a journey. I live, the experience of each moment is as it is.
• Friends invited to go to the base to relax and buy in hot barrels. Hunted down greed. What a waste of money. Fear of the unknown. Stop! And how to LIVE! And EXPERIENCE! Instant Self-Consciousness ... I see the Game of Consciousness ... I am in the dream of the first level and create it ... Consciousness manifests itself in this way ... I observe from the Source of emptiness ... It's all a dream, a journey in a dream. There is only the Game and experience ...
• Mother, mother, my beloved mother, my main symbol and gift. I come, she is again in a bad mood. The thought rushes through, "What's wrong again?" Fear of rejection, loneliness. Involved, identified with the false. Stop! Who responds? Who is in the fantasy world? Who does this affect? Once identified. I am identified with the true self. Consciousness plays all the roles. I leave the second level sleep. I allow the moment to manifest as it manifests itself. I stay in a non-dual contemplation. I let her live her experience. Everyone gets what she teaches ... Mom began to complain and tell about the problems of her older brother. After she uttered herself, she said it- This is his life, as he wants, so it does, I can not decide for him ... I PLAY!
• Set learning goals, that's an important task for me. I tracked down that I was afraid to set goals, because after reaching the goal comes emptiness, and it seems that everything is complete, the fear of freedom, a feeling of weightlessness and loss, what? yourself! Who said that by reaching the goal, everything ends? The mind that constantly tries to confuse, but is it real? After all, he is illusory! I am Consciousness! I set goals! I'm free to show myself! Awareness is clearly its mission to share Knowledge with people and manifest according to the Life Game!
• I noticed that when I shared my other projects, I expected help, taking responsibility off myself and then saw how others implement it, although they had no such experience, showed up, did and I felt jealousy that did not bring me strength, but destroyed and closed, letting go of its own accord. Now, seeing this, I move to my place! To create a big project of your business, here is the task at the moment, there is knowledge, there is the Master, I am, there is the power and the opportunity to create a large base, and to mean the Energy of the material manifested, sensed in monetary terms, to develop myself and in the spiritual level without effort. To direct attention, only to yourself and to be in the process of action, and not to give your plans to others, to realize yourself! Be an entrepreneur! My business and the work of God-Life-Consciousness are One! I get pleasure and interest from my work, I'm self-confident, so in God, in Life, Consciousness! I use this opportunity through the media: the Internet, the newspaper, the radio, outdoor advertising, word of mouth ... There is Confidence, there is the realization of the deed, myself! To use ready-made programs they are full on the Internet, to grind and do them better. Be a Player and play in the developed world, like in sports, pump up muscles - confidence and enjoy the process! Receiving energy-money, easing and rising spiritually. I believe in myself -Cognition! And if there are mistakes on the way with joy and love I accept and move to myself! Mistakes are also me, they give understanding and temper me, I learn to build strength and I thank Consciousness for the wise Master!
• S. planted nearby and said that I should voice on the commission, he explained why I should say exactly what he says because he trained all the employees to work, but not to think, but the fact that I have the same store as he does not tell me about it said never he himself knew until he saw me in action at work. And now there is such a situation if they do not like those whom he leads into the team, then they do not like me as an employee, and not like the bosses as a boss, so he told me who he constantly covered for absenteeism, for drunkenness at work, for theft and thus he treated me always stricter than to others and we can say that through the soup strictly and therefore I grew up in his eyes as a professional. Thanking you for your experience and leaving.
• V. just begins to say that he really wants to buy an additional battery for the phone, I say that he went to the outpost and examined what is available there, V. specifies the name of this device, I say that it is a charge for the battery, we look together he disposes in communication is not clamped, it is clear that he is sincerely open to talk. I propose to him to go out and with me after dinner to show in which shop I saw such a device, V. was glad that I was taking him with me. I remember the conviction that I can never find a common language with V. he has his own mother, I understand that everything is possible if you do not believe the settings.
• comes the daughter from school and dresses at once for training, I say that today is the day off, the daughter begins to say that three times a week she does not want anything more, I remember that that year the training in the winter was every day and now they also are just different groups. Daughters say if she wants to go more often call the coach and say that she missed the illness December and November and that you are not enough. My daughter doubted herself asking me to talk to the coach, I remember what I asked in school to correct the grades etc. now I understand that the daughter herself asked to feel responsible herself. And so the daughter told her so she asked for herself. Daughter sat on the bed after thinking about two minutes I hear the coach calling and asking for today, further justifying that she is three times small because she wants to prepare for the competition. The coach gave her permission to walk alone to the mountain every day. My daughter put down the receiver and ran to me with joy and thanked me for the advice. I saw her courage and sincere desire to move on the path written by her fate that she is in the sport and this is her destiny. And I completely destroyed my conviction and how I once swore to myself that my daughter would be a dancer, whom I did not once become.
• I went to see a dentist, the procedure time I feel some unpleasant sensations, make a shot, there is a fear of death, the body skuikozhilas as if really die, immediately ask yourself, but whether I really die, no I will not die. I realize my image is small, take responsibility, live a sense of fear of death, and in half an hour I realize myself to be an adult.
• It turns out that I do not miss the fear of death in my life, and through these problems with my teeth, now also the female organs, I live the fear of death.
• At work, a sense of loneliness and uselessness. In fact, I do not need my post, I feel insecure. This is the condition of Grandma Raya. Immersed in it, lived the fear of death, defenseless. My grandmother never grew up, and she lived, feeling like a little girl. And I also live as a small child, and today the collective in my subconscious as a stepmother for me. After the practice of the state leveled, I was already calmly thinking about my affairs, and not about the threat from the team.
• At work, I notice a feeling of loneliness, I sit down in practice, live alone, which was felt by Grandmother Raya. I leave at the end of practice for an unextended feeling of sadness, the fact that the girl is left alone, she has no one to share her joys with. And from this and sadness, chronic sadness. Sorrow lived.
• After that I sit in my office, I realize that I seem to submit to colleagues, as if I depend on them. But when the feeling of loneliness does not bother me, I feel freedom, I can leave the office and go where I need, without feeling this ligament with them. And when I fail, I feel as if I'm tied to them. That my life depends on them. Now I began to realize this. Awareness came after practice and, and there was a slight backlash, which allows you to behave freely.
• I went to the photo session, after the end I understand that the photos are not fire, that the interest to make original photos was lost, and what you get is also not pleasant. There was a sense of guilt to customers, this immediately affected the interaction with customers. Why did interest disappear? It turns out the agency sent his hero from the cartoon, and the girl acts as if through a stick, without joy, without lifting, and all my attention to her has moved, on photos she with a sour face turned out. In this I see that I shift responsibility from myself to the fact that the girl did not act well. Actually, I had to do my job, and not give my attention to this girl. Probably, in it I see myself to some extent, I see my impotence in it. This feeling is very important for me.
  But on what my behavior was hanging and at an unexpected moment the woman said: "what's the matter with you?" And I had a desire to push her away from communicating, I got out protection. And I caught it. At this moment I stand and think now I, all will pass and I then go home. We sometimes go along with this woman, I decided to just not be able to talk to me, I had a guilt state, as if I were a prisoner and you can not talk to me. You should not approach at all. It is not worthy of communication.
• Yes, life and then played ... then immediately called P. usually he does not call so early, and today an early call starts to rush to come to the office. "More likely, sooner," but I became so calm. Because I already noticed the game, with the woman. And he hurried me up. I come to the office, restart the tracker, it's good that I was not in a hurry. And Pasha then told me that he called him and began to run into why 8 am, and the office is closed. And it's clear why they played me in the morning. He began to call me with fear, he was afraid.
•   "Give me a fuel card, I have run out of petrol." I say no. I do not mind that you will feel uncomfortable. Usually our family tendency is all to give to others. And I need to play and sometimes give up. But you'll find a job faster, and if I drag you, you will not be a man in my eyes. There is injustice on his face. Tension in his face, he did not expect failure.
•  And here's the rally: I'm standing in the kitchen looking at the city, and at the very desire that he helped me in the decision, in the job situation, inside "help me scrape, I do not know what to do" and he does not give an excuse, and I notice, my guidelines depend on his support. A new model of behavior. I rely on myself in all events, and alone I draw energy, and do not waste it. This is a connection with yourself. In Solitude, I make the right decisions, and only those that I need, not my husband, I., not my mother, L. There is only a desperation in my heart. I do not lose anything, only I get experience.
•    I'm driving, I notice the state in my head is a stopper - meaningless. Feeling is humiliation. Persuasion is "I am a collective farmer." Protection: arises on living feelings of tension in the stomach, solar plexus. I keep track so I do not merge with the sensation, with that understanding the idea should itself flow, do not resist. Stress in the abdomen is relaxing with my attention. I watch fear as an emotion. I notice sadness as an emotion. I accept this experience. I condemn this sadness, sadness ... is replaced by fear, I realize fear and also say it. ... fear ... fear. The mind with all feelings agrees, there is sobriety, freshness of awareness. A game.
  

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