Echo and Narcissus (in the picture)

 ... Narcissus, son of the river god and the nymph, was divinely beautiful - and totally cool: he admired its beauty, but it is not needed in admiration of others: at first he did not anybody needed. Breaking many hearts, including heart nymph Echo (poor girl could only repeat the last words of the speaker), Narcissus angered still one of the nymphs, who exclaimed: "Love is you, Narcissus! And let the object of your love will reject you as you deny us! "

Curse passed in the Department of goddess of love Aphrodite, which severely punished the proud, rejects her gifts. One day, while hunting in the hot afternoon Narcissus leaned over the forest creek to drink - and was gone, he fell in love with a beautiful young man, staring at him from the water surface.

"In amazement, he looks at his reflection in the water, and a strong love seizes them. ... Narcissus leans down to kiss his reflection, but only kissed the icy, clear water creek. All forgot Narcissus; He does not go from the stream; without stopping, he admires himself. He does not eat, does not drink, does not sleep "

Naturally, the body can not stand, and Narcissus dies beforehand how to torment and realizing the trap into which he pleased - otherwise punished Aphrodite loses its meaning. The nymph Echo was with him until the end; and the remaining nymphs mourned the death of Narcissus. But to bury him, they could not: there's nothing left, only a white fragrant flower, the flower of death - narcissus, rose on the spot where the young man bowed his head ...

Key symptoms of narcissism:

- The inability to love (love of self does not count, and by and large, love is not) - the emotional defect; up to the aggressive rejection of others ("... but angrily pushed her beautiful boy. He left hurriedly from the nymph and disappeared into the dark forest"

- A preoccupation.

The main features of the type "daffodil man, an ordinary» (homo narciss vulgaris) :).

Just do not try to tell Narcissa that he was "ordinary." His sense of self-esteem, already flawed, is so deeply injured (again!) That the aggressive reaction followed immediately - and then blame yourself!

At daffodils problem just with self-identification with a particular way crippled own "I". The peculiarity is that genetically mortgaged "I" because of the circumstances is left in its infancy, but perhaps imposed from the outside false "I" - a kind of tumor is more or less malignant.

How are daffodils:

Daffodils are formed in the family. For a discussion frisky baby may be sufficient, if the parents or equivalent persons will gently but constantly inspire him to run around and make noise - bad, that disturb the adult issues - ugly that he should not play, and learn, learn and learn .. . Do not lost their hard work: hard-working teachers can really get something special. The human child turns into CENTAUR - a creature of two halves, and only one of them (the one that says daffodil "human" - a false "I") can be shown to others.

From this stems the leading affects (strong emotion) narcissus:

 - Inconsistency of external shame and available (ugly "horse" half) and envy to others, to those who are naturally representatively is whole.

Of course, the daffodil is sincerely deny such "worthless" feelings. On the contrary, it is around him jealous, and therefore seek every possible way to spoil; and they also should be ashamed of such poor behavior. But - consciously or not - the affects of shame and jealousy so uncomfortable and damaging to the self-esteem of narcissus that to maintain it, at least on the existing level, it should be protected.

Typical narcissistic defense - the idealization and devaluation.

At the same time near to the depreciation of Narcissus no particularly convincing argument is not required. As for idealization. All of a sudden it becomes obvious! The idealized, however, on closer examination turns out to be not without flaws - and instantly depreciates.

Many daffodils do not dwell on this disappointment, and quickly look for the next object of idealization - and depreciate it. Such is the "galloping" drive. The same is true in the field of self-awareness narcissus: continuous gallop range: enormity - nothing.

Narcissus narcissistic hurts irresistible hunger as narcissus, in fact, empty inside, its true "I" remains in its infancy, and he was a man only as long as feels the false 'I' as a present. And as you can feel, for example, an artificial leg and make sure that you're normal - bipedal? Own feelings say that the foot - artificial. But if her dress up properly and look in the mirror ... For a malignant narcissist, in fact, no people, apart from him. Others - a mirror, confirming the existence of narcissus, and only in that their purpose and the bitter vital for narcissus.

As in the myth: "Crying Narcissus. His tears are falling in the clear waters of the creek. On the mirror surface of the water went round and lost a great image. With the fear of Narcissus cried: - Oh, where are you! Come back! Stay! Do not leave me, it's cruel. Oh, give even look at you! But here again, the water is calm, there was again a reflection, again, not looking up, looking at him Narcissus. "

On what grounds grow "the rose"?

The ground we all have the same - family. Although, of course, there is a genetic predisposition to develop a particular type of character (of tulip bulbs, daffodil still not grow), but there is a favorable soil, and vice versa. At the same time it is not necessary that the parents were "daffodils" The main condition for the development of narcissistic character: parents do not see (do not want to see) a real child, a new "I" in his entering into this life, and projecting its "product" their fears, unfulfilled hopes, failures, dreams ... "I want him to get in life what I could not get!" - explicitly or implicitly declares "I am" parent, but where is the "I" of the child? As a result, "the child grows up confused as to whose life he is supposed to live."

The narcissistic deformation occurs in a family where a child is used as a "narcissistic appendage." This means: family love and care about the children, "not because of who they really are, but because [the children] perform some function."

Own "I" of the child remains underdeveloped, empty, and to preserve the self-respect he has to support his family imposed the false 'I', which is used to protect the above-mentioned pair of complementary "idealization-devaluation."

With proper soil is particularly powerful daffodils grow in an atmosphere of ranking (estimation). The child is grown "with the aim" to be permanently directly or indirectly, be assessed - and criticize if it is not well this goal corresponds. As a result, adult Narcissus did not tolerate criticism and immediately, without rationalizing, "throws" to the criticism of criticism or the one who seems to him only "criticism". Involuntary reaction of rejection. The steady pattern. Thank you mom and dad.

Indeed, it can do a little man, growing up under the pressure imposed expectations and at the same time is completely dependent on your parents? You can only rely on internal resources, the nature of this psychological flexibility or, on the contrary, the rigidity. There is speculation that the weak point of the natural predisposition to narcissism is a hypersensitivity to the child's non-verbal messages (that is, he not only gets a portion of the messages clearly expressed what he should be, but the portions are not made, of which the parents are not aware). Another breach is a natural instability to aggression, because the process of strangling the "I" of the child - an act certainly aggressive. By the way, and this received in childhood aggression grown daffodil willingly throws on others.

What to do?

 Many daffodils - very successful people who have achieved heights in the political, financial or any other activities. Outwardly, everything is very good, while they at the height of his "grandiose" dream. But even in this case, Narcissa is jealous because "the domestic price narcissistic hunger is rarely available to the observer." Narcissus by nature not inclined to ask for help (shame discrepancy false "I" - supposedly successful, a real empty "I" - is carefully concealed from outsiders).

It is important to gradually bring to mind the narcissistic store that "accept people without judging and without using, without idealizing love, to express true feelings without shame - it was good." First, subject to correction of the emotional defect (the ability to experience the true feelings - and to express them), and then - "visual" defect (the ability to "see", "learn" the other: the co-feeling, empathy). Convalescent first ochuvstvlyaetsya / thaws the inner world, then - the outside. And there is thus a full-blooded feeling - and the world brings joy, inaccessible Narcissus. The joy of spring, returning to life.

 Ha ha ...

Play :) The Leela.