We will continue our fourth edition of the diary of remote Winter Games parting with Teun Marez.

THROUGH WAR can be learned only in the case if it becomes a life or death
It is easy to understand that, while people are justifiably pleased with the progress of their life, they can not be a compelling reason to change anything.
 Instead, most people prefer to just get acquainted with new ways to make their lives richer.
There is a huge number of people who do not mind find the strength and ability of a warrior, but just as certain additional benefits, enriching their current life.
 But we can not achieve a warrior force, without becoming a warrior, but to become a warrior, you must complete the transformation of the individual.
Expose yourself ready to complete transformation, only those who honestly admit to themselves that they have nothing to lose.
However, a person always has something to lose, and because students resist change, but such resistance means that they unconsciously cling to the old way of life.
It is for these reasons that teachers never in a hurry to take in students the first counter, the more that the usual period of apprenticeship is from fifteen to twenty years.
So before you invest in the time and energy of the student, the teacher must make sure - in any case, as far as possible - in fact, that this student has everything necessary for successful learning.

About how the game draws the player's life, read below:

    In the evening we decided to take a walk with his son, to breathe the air. And out of the department is prohibited. I decided to trust that there is nothing wrong with that abuse will not happen. We went to the embankment, walked two hours. Of course, I was going through and was in fear. Son also experienced that we can drive out of the violation of the regime. Come what I said to myself and trust. When we arrived at the hospital, everything was quiet and well! we even brought dinner and left the room. Thank you!

     During the day, saw his sister hostess, are distinguished by their rudeness and ignorance in relation to the kiddies and the moms became softer, friendly people, found kind words and not muttered. I knew it, I see it has become so. Every day more and more confidence, opens the heart and soul.

    On the morning of the fifth day of meditation was wonderful. I did early in the mood for breath, began to utter the phrase. And it feels like the middle of my body is opened and expanded, I was not in the hospital, I was nowhere and felt such an extension on the pronunciation of phrases. The bodies of the felt. Feeling SUPER !!! It should, of course, to keep it for the day. Then in the morning check-up, his son said, that it is necessary to pump the fluid in the joint. Process unpleasant. I was allowed to be with him. He was lying, and I insisted on his breath and trust. Miracles! He did not move, he looked me in the eye do what I say and trust, we are even a little joke. Such a feeling of blissful confidence !!!

    Here is some married couple with a child ... happy I. at the rink, he is not alone. He decided to play with the family. But they are not arranged. He throws pillow wants aims at man, he wants to like the last time, this time with another family frolic ... I understand ..ego action. I do not have time to explain the situation to the child. It already operates. Bullet pillow. But the woman commanded ... do not rush. Then I woke up my power, "you do not actually touch that you are distributing the team, to decide what to do." I had the energy to protect his son and space. I usually keep quiet in such situations, and within humiliated. But then trusting inner urge, I can express myself. Here and now. And all is well. You do not want, we will not be friends with you. These comrades like -That disappeared from the field. Or simply vanished.

    House write a letter to Santa Claus. He is mistaken in letters. My condition: control. Power. Mistaken, begins to fall into the idea, "I have neither of which will not work." I - Persuade: I see already all turns out. It flows into the tears start to hand pull, shake his shoulder. I want him to not merge. I say, look, you can cross out the letter, and a new write. If you made a mistake you can always correct it. There is nothing to worry about. He says: Give Mom cry !!!! Okay I stop touch it, do not take it in his sacrifice.

It came on time. And I was given the go-ahead. And right feel, you need to walk in fear ... and there is not scary.

    In practice, a prayer for the man of loving-kindness for mom, for dad. How much thanks goes. How I love them. In this samsara and do not reflect how close the road. Everything turns, turns.)))

    I love how he makes a decision. Quickly, clearly, clearly, here and now. I pull, do not act, I'm afraid to make a mistake. How tyagomotiny experience.

    In the car, I open the gift, look shelf life: until 29 January. The negative mind is included as so children can not give fresh candy. We come to class, then all of Noah that gave gifts to the short term. And everyone who came all expressed the view, and expect that I will support. What are they to ... ly ... But then pulled myself together ... I stop what I'm doing ... my God, who needs discontent. And no one and does not play in the film, pulled myself together, because only I were unhappy. Ha ha .... drawing of adverse intelligence - lose, but I see.

     I try to trust in life without becoming isolated. Here comes the husband is not happy with what is happening: "Go into the other room !!! You are disturbing me!" Do not merge with his energy, watching the event, for their thoughts, control myself. We get up, go into another room, I understand that offended at split second something flashed ... "Oh, so we're leaving" .Pishu and realize that all the same offense. Ha ha ...

    The block in the upper chest. I feel sorry for them mother - do not give it enough attention. This is my self-pity. A good reason to work. I sit down to practice, remember the images of his childhood, imagine that I leave my mother alone, she suffers. This causes a bitter attack unit in the throat, breathing quickens, breathing in this block. More images emerge - that I'm alone, my mother leaving. Blocks in the upper chest again manifest. Attachment to the mother / external source of love is very deep and suffering related to separation hinder feel the unity. Makes practicing with these feelings flow. Breathing becomes loose, leaving blocks in the body, throat comes complete ease. I can not be alone, this is an illusion not lived as a child.

Ask yourself the question - What is it about this impotence - felt like a cloud in the chest, then I'm afraid when you do not want to live it? I fear my weakness, I am afraid to be alone, without an external source. I'm afraid to be alone with him. What is this if I stay alone with yourself? I'm afraid not cope with reality. Why am I afraid of reality? - Because it is unpredictable, uncontrollable. What is behind this fear? The fear that the reality will dissolve me, the fear of death of the ego. To listen to these feelings, sinking into a cloud of impotence in the chest. The cloud dissipated, the thought goes, I remain with yourself. Thought not. Desire to do something to stop alarming.

    Near the house, the forest begins. I like to walk, and today the weather is good for walking, warm and light snow comes. Strange feeling, seeing all kak-as if for the first time, the trees, the grass withered, snowy path on which I go. It is only now, and it is constantly changing. Smells, frosty air in the face, the sound of steps, the picture before my eyes. The path forks, I gut feeling decide to turn to the right, where I was not. I went down to the river, I turn it on ice and then the path goes into the woods. It is strange that it is so well-trampled, this is not very popular destinations, awakens interest, wherever he goes? I have suggested that she goes to Sinichkina lake, but I went to see him in a different way. There is a sense of the way in the dark - no more settlements there, the path takes to the woods much, but who goes on it in winter? Wakes up the emotion of fear. Body wary to continue the campaign. It makes me wonder what's ahead, and I keep going. There are big old birch trees with thick trunks and brown bark, which where cedar grows, I walk past the frozen streams. Not a soul around.

    Then start barking dogs and noticed one next to the hut. Fear is animated, I feel uninvited guests. I approached too close, as is usual in such cases, you can turn around and go back slowly. The desire to continue the path disappears immediately. Dogs barking gets louder, I turn around and see that the two rushing down the path towards me. Among the trees are not very visible, what size they are, but one more and one less. This adds adrenaline. Sticks are not lying next to, I turn around and stand facing them, ready for a meeting. Dogs fly because of the trees, a shaggy medium height, a second smaller pooch, both grin. At that that shaggy, wild eyes. But it is not bred, ordinary mutts. I watch as they rush to me and abruptly takes a step forward, to frighten them, the dog saw that the object is no longer running away abruptly stop and freeze. I cant pretending to pick up a stone and they are broken back. I turn and continue to leave. Uh, well-kept, it would guard - not so easy to stop. Chagall back home on the familiar path digest events. Shack seems to marginal, and apparently no one was home) I usually trust treat people in the woods, I began to represent what would be if I met them in the woods. Definitely would give rebuff like dogs, this event has given me confidence. I remembered the fear first outing, it was like a premonition of this outcome to this track.

Driving past the stop on the street at the city we see what lies in the snow man. Match guy 35 years as a lord drunk, lying in the snow. What are you doing here? - Trying to home leave-on foot is not necessary. - Where do you live? Said address. Without saying a word, raise the boy and put in the car, that is interesting - he's trying to thank us. Rent back and turn to the above home, feelings of rejection, disgust - it is expressed in the reluctance of close contact with a person. But seeing as openly refers to it in, help a guy out of the car and together we will bring it to the entrance. Man thanks again, says it all alcohol. We leave it in the stairwell, VA said: - Before getting at the apartment? He nods, we leave it and go. Consciousness through this guy appears in a good way, in such a seemingly repulsive situation and this shows me that all the same, I do not feel hostility to it, things can be. What I do not accept I see drunk? Perhaps the fact that they are unconscious, and therefore do not control anything. I've displace this state because behind it fear. But also like the condition.

    Movie about the polar bear, who then shoved people out of firecrackers and bear it whether he flew in his mouth, then he swallowed it, but the snow was writhing in pain. I once again shock the heart clenched in pain. Helplessness, hopelessness, and death. I live, let go, very painful ... but ask yourself who is going through? And as if that was not me, and I, my consciousness through experiencing these feelings. The consciousness manifested in the relative reality of the present moment in a situation with a bear. I am aware of this situation and feel the emotions and feelings. All that appeared and disappeared. So the absolute reality manifested in the relative.

    The conflict with her husband in a raised voice, a sense of injustice and resentment, but once aware of myself and my feelings, I can not be angry.

    In breast anxiety, aiming at their way of phrase came relaxation and tranquility, sending close phrases silence, emptiness, feeling the body, I drew attention to the second image after the alarm went off, and the state was open.

    I am very glad to see you and that you yourself admitted to two in a diary. Such trust has before itself unnecessarily by making her a compliment went relaxation in mind.

    A. asks to tell her a story not with the book, and I came up with! The other day, she said, and she really liked it. I tell the story of the hare "Grey ear black belly"! she smiles as I even get the names of the heroes are coming up, which is not in fairy tales. Energy flows freely and on the go all turns out. Ahead was the guy we started to overtake, caught up with him and he turned his head to us, it was clear that it has accelerated the progress behind us and listened to the tale. Votes to him no confidence in what is happening. The feeling of lightness and playfulness.

    Why can not warned to anyone going? I hear snorting into the phone. Mind invent different punishment. A. goes to the locker room with bulging eyes in anticipation of anger, I hugged him and said that it is better to warn parents of what her smile gone and harmony.

       Asking how was training: A good, but cold feet and not only me, but one girl began to cry even from this (fear of death is not manifested because I had started to shout: Why are you not wearing thermal socks? I saw the irrational Thinking: thinking: That's the experience taught her to wear the next time and just repeated it again, you need to wear special things intended to do, the more they are). A. replied: - Yes, mom's right, I also have, you need to dress. I complimented her, we smiled at each other and went.

    This year, even after I found a good husband to his beloved wife, and did not become. It was decided to go this time even two nights, I was invited to different places :)

      A stacked bed, am drawn to kiss her wince and turn away (early, I was not allowed to eat a lot, she was offended). I smiled and said softly: well done, get out of bed, she abruptly taken by the hand and said: - Kiss. In general, when fear grips my daughter rejects it reminds me of my relationship with my mother. Not afraid to take rejection, easily went backlash.

We leave from work, says A., Mom I downloaded the game today, there is my cat is sleeping now. My reaction was to be negative (since I was not allowed to download the game), but hearing the cat and went to sleep smiling, and a warning not to go to sleep! haha.

     Time 23:10. Male still not come to work. Reaction positive even longer happy, do not get distracted, I was involved unconsciously irrational feeling: Thank mind for the adoption of this situation (before I'm ready to go to humiliation, ridicule listened called by AS, just to be sure that he will come home) .Vnutrennee loving state: )

      My husband (of consciousness) proposes to play backgammon. I notice the feeling. Firstly, there is a desire (ego) to win. Secondly, the ego does not want to play just like that, he needs the interest against the husband. Ego experiences the familiar "not interesting" for a reason - I do not identify, play a game, watch. Next character loses and the ego starts to moan (tighten the rules, arguing). Noticing this -otsoedinyayus. There is a game on their own, highlighting the need -tendentsiyu win and win. Accepted weakness in the body, the energy is passed.

     In the garden, took the money in the photo, since the child was ill and did not go into the garden, a photo session missed. I asked could I get the money back. Mentor said she did not remember whether I handed over the money. I invited her to see the list. She said that he was thrown out, and left the group. There was a sense of loss - death (believed-pop). Sensing weakness in the body of the missing energy (although the ego thoughts still trying to clarify the situation). Please accept, live. Feeling accepted, lived, managed to detach from the ego (not bringing up actions). In repose, and other thoughts. And the thought comes, "You wanted to make gifts to the NG - here let it be her gift." That's all. Letting go of the situation and have already forgotten, in the afternoon call to the phone. He calls the teacher and says she found the extra money, it's probably yours, and you can pick them up. Complete peace of mind. Simply indescribable tranquility, this probably I have not experienced. It does not affect in any way.

   Ahead of us the car suddenly skidded, it gets across. L. beginning to slow (very all happens instantly), nothing anyone does not already own - one moment. I thought a collision is imminent, but we shared a millimeter - cost). We went on, and on the road with us abreast car that skidded. Turning my head, I saw that the driver of the car looked at me and smiled. Just a smile from consciousness: Do not sleep. Life is amazing, unpredictable and wonderful! Includes.

      Ego whispers: "the pace will solve all the problems." I do not get involved, and more and more notice of his habit of not listening. But the habit is not the right word here, just did not seem the border where someone.
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