Perfection ...

• I feel resistance in the right side of the chest. It is transmitted in the throat - I feel powerless. The conversation with his mother revived this feeling. Breathing becomes easier! the feeling of powerlessness runs.
•     In the evening, I feel crazy impotence. The whole body is aching. Watching. Later, I sit down in practice. The mind tries to find a way out of the situation to get out of suffering. Translate attention to sensations. Burning in the shoulder, chest tightness, burning in the back. Gradually the mind settles down, and I remain in the body. What accounts for these feelings? There is the image of her mother. The rejection of her love. I remember how as a child we were often differentiated relationship. I keep them in mind to carry on life today. It makes me unsympathetic, detached. Mentally I imagine how I embrace my mother. The feeling in the chest and on the back are softened, I feel the warmth.
•     Events associated with humiliation, shame. I notice sensations in the left chest, upper chest - the neck, stiffness. First, the mind recalls events as usual. After several such events can see that it is intelligent memories. I stop, I translate attention to sensations. It is not immediately begins to change.
•     Float event from childhood ... The feeling in the chest alive, burning sensation. I feel the event, his emotions from what he saw and power from the fact that it is hidden. Through emotions accommodation unit opened, a burning sensation spread throughout the breast. I felt relieved that this event is now pereprozhil.
•     I use rationalization in everyday events, to avoid living feelings and emotions. The main feeling - humiliation, for which there is a fear of being alone. The sense of humiliation blocks the emotion of joy, so I'm subconsciously rationalize and from new developments and random encounters, which I will need to act spontaneously.
•     And I realized that I can accept his fate and the actions I go out to meet her.
•     I read comments of Rama and before the eyes reveal the inner vision. As with other eyes I looked at what he wrote. As if I saw a skeleton. Each trend rally. And that's where we should look. This is seen. Then there will be fewer words in the description))). I track my idea, trend. Further work on the idea !!!!. And I'm in the description.
•    When you see the whole life - it's a lottery.
•     I fell in love, finally, the process of meditation, especially in the morning. I wake up, sleepy sit down to meditate, after sleep or meditation with one eye, vigor and clarity of mind. Meditation allows razotozhdestvitsya with who I am not. It's a thrill!
•     The chest bubbles of joy, tears of joy and tenderness and love. Love to all and to all. This happens in a matter of seconds! Thought - Study (believe, do not believe it) - this state !!! In my head comes a clear and complete trust in life, consciousness, God!
• Very much changed relationship with his mother !!! I see and how it has changed. Cheerful, always laughing. My children, especially older, somehow became closer to her. She listens to a poem every morning thinking about:
  

 Do not plan failed. Life rush head over heels.
 You have set a task - to think less about the poor.
 Our thoughts are universal.
 Do not make up one's mind trouble.
Every word really, what do you melish nonsense ......
It is better to think of a good ......
Mudreya So, little by little, it is easier joyful living.
Remember that you are the bridge track on which he goin ...

This Kratz, could not resist, she wrote. So, my mother listened to him and thanks. I'm glad, glad! Previously, any idea it was perceived by me with hostility and Oromo. Now, I listen to it and hear. And absolutely do not want to argue. And if something arises, I immediately examine his thought.

• After meditating I feel gratitude Consciousness, Rama, through which consciousness manifests itself. All the characters, items, everything that surrounds me is all Consciousness, which is so evident. And I'm Consciousness. So everything is me. I Consciousness. And I have no form, no boundaries.
•     I earn, late in the clinic, and there strictly on time. I get out of panic - I will not be late. is an employee on the porch, waiting for the car - "a ride", "of course, we are on the way." I arrive 15 minutes earlier.
•     To know the love and mercy of mother, through praise, I had longer to get out of the house, to keep order, I lozhila things out, and my mother has always appealed to me. That's how I got love and the mother's attention.
•     As a child I was faced with sexual violence on the part of teachers, stepfather and brother. And this fear prevented open love.
•     She married not for love, afraid to remain an old maid. Love began to open only with the birth of children, the children, her husband and did not open. Love of self, to the world, people began to open just now, through play, through understanding missii.Pishu and sung a song about love? How many years in me love slept ... Thank you)))
•     Mom went to the Passover, bright feast of the Resurrection, when we said goodbye at the cemetery there came the procession with joyful songs "Easter, Holy Pascha" in white robes. Father dusted censer body mother and said, "God is right." I accompanied it with a light heart, accepting the naturalness, her care.
•     The first time I was not afraid to make a mistake, not because I knew everything, but because there was no fear. I passed the exam first, lecturer, whom everyone feared, quite calmly, without worrying about the result. It was a state of dissolution, I certainly was not the body, I was in the spirit. And get a good, there was no excitement. No rating, there is estimated to have a rest, have time right now.
•     Of tension in the abdomen, anger. What does not accept my soul and merges into the body? The fact that my husband likes to drink. And my soul shall live, and to take? This situation revives the fear of loss, I am afraid for my husband, he will destroy himself. Taking his weakness, I understand, it behaves so that I would not become attached to the relationship, and not drink from its source. It is soul-soul-and I decide to each his task. It is his behavior sends seek power and to go to his source of love.
•     I think that in this game will be cool and fun to do the exercise observation of feelings and body sensations. It was not there))). Every now and then I run to clean the nose of the timer and the exercises had forgotten)))
•     Recapitulation in the subway): Grade 4, the first month we go from class to class on a particular subject. History lesson. On the desk someone painted a funny face. I smile. I draw near the same. After two lessons, our class teacher with a history teacher perpetrate class questioning: "Who painted the desk?" No one recognized me too, since I do not depicted by and drew a smiley little. "Who was sitting here and there?" I get up. "Aa-Yates, do not know that because you get!" Scary legs give way, heavy fog, did not realize, dry mouth (barely -ele trying to say something to justify), floats before the eyes of all, rejection, resentment loneliness. Transformation through the accommodation of the state: it has got exactly (as described above), took rejection, worthlessness and the possibility of the authority to make me anything. Insight in the discovery of the existence of the program in me, "the little man in the clutches of the state", as confirmation of its worthlessness.
•      Moves in the time zone minus 12 hours in Moscow. January 31 - Transition day on which as much as I will play the next game, completing this. ) Something tells me that I have to be cautious, trying not to fall into the lagging. Fear that can not handle. However, I do not know what the situation will be there, in America, on the internet. If you suddenly do not get time to send a report for the next game, asking for a little leeway.
•     It was the home state of goodness, love and warmth in the heart (lightness in the body).
•     In the evening, my husband eats sandwiches, then I notice how mentally hand already reaching for them. Raffle. The evening was not early, I ate well, but now there is just the hunger-hunger. That is if you do not eat crackers - will die. I see who wants to. I remember about that fed. Planned subversive sabotage ego. I see myself smile. Clearly there is a tendency to succumb to zamanushki -priyatnoe, sensual pleasure, delight, temptation - need not have been a familiar weakness, but I did catch, razotozhdestvilas with those who offended. Seeing on how this harm my health, at night there is obviously no good at this. So resist the temptation Karlikowski. While all so harmless at first glance.
•     Villages in meditation, and there came to light. The pain, hurt men (remembering that this is a generalization, and you need to find one), one in the past incarnation, and now the whole masculine resentment. Lives, let go, missed by -complete it seemed ego dissolved. I see in this drawing of consciousness. That is not so, moreover, in the past, and it plays. -mysl Image, merge with the ego believe in all this suffering. In fact, there is no resentment, the ego wants to take offense at it just did mania offended, and extreme launched a man. And invented, it is necessary to punish them, so from the "house" did not come out. It also believes in their pain, and pain in the reality there, it hurts the mind. A breakthrough in awareness occurred. But as I know, according to the rules of the game, this pain again and again about themselves nopomnit (I'm ready).
•     Harmful products. It has long been consciously eat: mayonnaise, chewing gum, sunflower seeds, alcohol, ketchup, Pepsi, crisps, all sorts of jelly with additives iogurty, preserves long-term storage, margarine, soft drinks, gazvodu, hamburgers.
•     My role is that I meet the body's natural needs (care of it) might be in the body of this "travel". this can not be done without a body. And because it is obliged to watch over, care and fulfill the needs. Listening, rather than the "machine" without noticing. For the body to function properly, this will be my role. Emptying - watch out for food (fresh, not harmful) to the body pospupalo a sufficient amount of water for the body, also work to unblock blocks bodily (to help the body) is my concern. Meal- here specifically my role as a person to take care of the quality of the food, its kolichestve.Rol caring and loving (that love does not allow harmful, dangerous elements, does not overeat, ie it does not damage health intentionally their ignorance, laziness and negligence . and a role in meeting these basic needs and will my role (role), which should be a great game drinks -. that drink, and how much this is also my concern (ego) in this case, me as an individual you must watch out for the water intake. because before it was not noticed. Now the role is to monitor this point, sensitive hearing body care.
•     The fascinating process of observation. Bags under the eyes in the morning is not found. The need of the ego is to look fresh body. Razotozhdestvlyayus, and then it is seen how the activity. Taking care of the body, has no desire to have bad food, laziness gone somewhere, I went porridge cooked. Charging, the body loves exercise, gymnastics for the eyes, shower. I observe how is caring, loving, without fear (ego) that the bags and look bad. Ego motivate. Razotozhdestvlyayus.
• Comments frames, plus notes on practical jokes and my nagging last report gave me a vision that I was a victim myself. It quickly pushed me out of the state of hopelessness, but rather from itself. I immediately involuntarily there is a question - How do I do it? Why am I doing this? and who am I?
   A friend listens with interest, and then says that one day her situation I gave good advice, and that he is to me now, perhaps, it is also nice. I'm curious, any of their tips, I do not remember. And we have it totally different situation. And she says that it is necessary to look for the source of love, not outside, but inside. I immediately felt the game. Indescribable feeling. Sometimes it may seem that everything is against you, it just seems really all about you.
• Resentment. I feel that my son is a victim, and I'm ready to fight for his rights. I can see the pleasure on his face. This sobers me and stop my negative emotions. I see that the victim's position is comfortable for my son. I remind him that in all his school on an equal footing and at the same time someone learns to excellent, while others barely pulls on three. This is a very comfortable position of your entire failure of the blame on teachers. I remind him of the responsibility to himself. I tell him about the position of the victim and what it can lead. During my speech, I realize that everything I say to myself. My condition is changing, the more I am not angry at the teacher and do not feel like his son (himself) a victim.
• In this game, I tracked every day their fortunes and thoughts related to the eldest son. He laughs - feel irritated, too loud, uncivilized. He wants to hug me - it seems to me that he hangs on me, at his age should be more independent. Comes home from school - anxiety and concern about what he's done again, I realized that if asked in the House, if all things are brought back, if passed tests to which I prepared his tutor, if his teachers and classmates offended. I realized that I do not accept him as he is. All my help emu- it is my desire that he would become what I want, but rather it wants society to which I focused somewhere consciously, unconsciously somewhere. In practice, I worked on the sensations in the body associated with thoughts about her son during the day and just watched himself and his reactions. This week he comes home from school and enthusiastically talks about the plants and their structure, which they studied. He is ready to invest all their money in our unfinished greenhouse, which would start to grow there vegetables, fruits and flowers. He aroused interest in his eyes, he wants to become a farmer and how to organize your business. I listen to it, feel joy and my imagination already draws some farmer, and he will be its success. I keep track of it all yourself. I understand that I want with it certainty and comfort related. I understand that I want that society would take a son, as a result of my work. Do I think about my son in this context? In my son a lot of not predictable and, I'm afraid. Take it means to me, to some extent, freed from its bondage. I continue the process of self-awareness through his son.
• Today went to the theater with children. On the children's play my tears flowed and I could not stop them. The play was called "Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane" and talked about the toy rabbit, which in the beginning no one liked. By the will of fate, he found himself into trouble, going from one host to another. It was a toy, and he was loved and cherished, it was used as a scarecrow, thrown and picked up the new owners, was restored and dressed to suit different tastes. He shared the fate of anyone who possessed it in his journey. He even had a clinical death, when he broke a porcelain head. As a result, his heart opened and he had learned to love. Raised a girl, his first mistress, is not it chayavshaya soul comes to the toy store that would buy something very unique for his daughter and finds it. Thus ends his journey in this play. He returns home, to learn to love. Actors played superbly. I did not have to cope with their tears. Children's performance was the answer - why I'm here.
• Today is the birthday of the pope. On the way to massage call Dad, I congratulate him on his birthday, at the time of the call tracking the fear that he would be drunk. I tell my father that I can not come today, because A. ill. His father's voice is changing and why, holiday or something? I do not own (contraction in the throat, tense abdomen). The emotion of pity, thinking that he was alone. I called my mother, my mother is responsible sleepy voice - a rest after work. I ask whether to answer my father's birthday, mom rather abruptly says that is not going to do anything, nobody congratulated (meaning father), a table, do not cover. She got all the ingredients for the salad out of the fridge and told her father that if he wants he can do everything. This mom laughs and this laughter I have goosebumps. In the body of contraction in the heart (sorry for the father), tingling in his right side, his chest expanded like that, take a deep breath the air. The fear of injustice. I stop and watch your feelings. Comes thought to come home and have a feast. But it will be a struggle with their fears. And what I really like a warrior can do? I need to go into your fear of rejection and father following this hostility towards him. Should I support the mom mood to be on her side, as if avenging his father? No, I do not need to maintain this behavior. They have their own game, I have mine. At this point I'm going to stop and massazh.Na massage the body gets relaxed, thinking back down and at some point I illuminates - I have to go to his father and to give him my attention, not trying to cheer him up and cheer defensively because of fear of rejection. I'm out of the building, I get in the car and drive to the store. I came second idea - I do not talk with his father, rarely go to him if I do not have the strength to face to face meetings, then I can start to communicate by phone. And it does not have the phone, that is, it is, but without the support functions of photos and videos ... So my father. He's surprised face and he immediately asked why I had come, he does not have a holiday. The answer is that I do not know there is a holiday or not, but the tea that I can pour it. Father is in his tracks and looks at me. Hands him a cake with the words, what you stood, go pour tea, there will be cake and tea. He seems to be coming out of torpor and goes to the kitchen, bustling, something imposed. I went into the room to her mother, she does not sleep. Also I surprised by my arrival. Mom say that came to drink tea with the Pope, if it wants, can not get up. Mom gets up and goes to the kitchen, he said it would be frying burgers, so I waited. I sit in a room and call dad, sits next to him, he brings tea and salad, which he did. Mom walks around, grumbles, inside I am calm, because I realize its mission. I give dad a gift he begins to resist, saying that he already has. This is to ensure that we communicate with you and they sent each other photos ... About 3 hours I sat with my dad while dealing with it with the phone by setting it different applications for communication and teaching everyone to use it. Mom put on the table, he sits down with us, goes even a brother out of his room. It so happened that met the birthday of the family. When I dressed noticed that the father went to his interest in the present, standing on the charge, and there is something clicked. I felt joy, I respond in a warm chest that radiate throughout the body. The first time I gave my attention to his father, showed him that he was interested in me that I want to communicate with him.
• My condition has led to the surprising weakness of openness and inner harmony. Continuing to be in weakness and watching her, let her be, not fighting. Begin to communicate and at this moment I can easily (chest ease, the body is relaxed), laugh-observed along the path of fun things, describing them ...
•    I was inside so comfortable and confident that the attempt of the ego to take offense at these words failed miserably, no anger, I accept myself this - in a state of weakness for himself and for the strangeness of the character, who is accustomed to see me the other.

Just how stable the players play for a week, they say points scored by them to the end game.
You can score only if the player has shown self-discipline and high performance. At the heart of self-discipline is the will, commitment.
At the end of each game, you have to admit that is weak, if you can not make a regular practice (and not illusions passes through justification).
Or see what your level of personal power to add, if you can do the practice regularly.

So, the most stable game showed Seven players this week (until the article is in the status of the update, the list will vary):

1. Isis 28 points - 85% of the return game
2. Hati 23 points - 80% of the return game
3. leiyang 23 points - 55% of the return game
4. Rainbow 22 points - 95% of the return game
5. Volcano 20 points - 90% of the return game
6. Aria 20 points - 89% of the return game
7. Echo 20 points    - 60% of the return game

closes the game in the game, players trio:

1. Flower 19 points - 60% of the return game
2. Joke 13 points - 90% of the return game
3. Source of 0 points - 0% return game
  (no data).

ARTICLE IS STATUS - (update).