Starting November 16, the participants of the Winter Games held remote first stage of selection. This year, not all the players who have submitted applications, have been admitted to the selection. Some of the players (12%) was directed to the drawings, which are more relevant for them at this stage of the game, such as

• Skype-retreats,
• Dive into yourself,

Academy Leela minimizes the formal format of players to participate in training and requires a practical confirmation of the ability to apply this knowledge in practice.

Learning outcomes in Leela Academy should immediately be manifested

• The body unlock the clips,
• Reduce the intensity of destructive emotions
• Stable positions of responsibility (as opposed to the victim's position)
• Awareness of resistance and the ability to "wrap around", that is not to defend and justify
• Reduce stereotypical rejection reactions surrounding reality
• Greater freedom of expression and manifestation of himself
•   Social adaptation (improved constructive relationships at work and at home)
• Raising awareness in everyday life and others.

If as a result of training in the Academy of Leela, this dynamic does not happen, then the pupil is trained formally, that is, it does not apply this knowledge in practice, probably because:

• Or does not practice regularly,
• Either do not use expired form drawings (such as for example, Skype, retreats, full-time retreats)
• Either indulged, potokat victim position.
• So at a grade level of the Hunter and the Warrior it is very important passage of Skype-retreats, consisting of a series of consultations. For many players the level of a hunter and a warrior who are unable to look into the dark corners of his soul, due to the fact that the reflex of protection fail, resist which they are not yet able to, due to awareness deficit (personal power), consultations with more experienced and trained players "Open hearts" is the surest means to take place in the darkest corners of the soul, transforming the darkness (ignorance) to the light (knowledge).
• Freedom of the game, playfulness - purity of mind is achieved. The main means of deep cleaning in mind Leela Academy are retreats "Dive into yourself." Deep cleansing of the mind is the main prerequisite for the transition to the game at the level of the player Formless, which has cleansing of the mind becomes less important, and at the first place there is the practice identify itself. But without proper purification of the mind, razotozhdestvenie happen simply will not. The three-day option, which are hunters and warriors is preparatory to the 10-day embodiment of retreat "Dive into yourself", and followed by draws FORCE 21 days or more. Such long retreats Academy Lila spends in India and Thailand.

It should be understood that the training program is developed according to the Academy of Lila main task of the player: to achieve liberation in this lifetime!

And the player has to understand that he must first submit a training program (pupil position) and follow it with humility.

Part of the Academy players Lila, rapidly continue to approach this goal.

Well, how the players passed the first stage of selection, read in this issue of the diary:

• Day 1 Morning walk. Questions have arisen: Where am I? I sleep and wake up?

response based on feelings: I looked in the virtual world, like in a video game, but this feeling is not strong, surface. As if sleeping in reality. Even when you return, I felt that I was on the outside or inside of a building, these concepts have become weak. As if there is no either outside or inside.

• Day 2. Barely awake, much to sleep clones mistake was to look outward instead of inward, this error is born from expectations based on the enlightenment experience, and all this during a walk at 6:00. was feeling the time is now.
• Day 3. 6:00 to 6:30 always go out today, rain and strong wind, but I still decided to go. When I got out on the street, the wind was no more, the rain too. Only light little breeze, and sometimes at the end of a small trace of rain. I tried not to be distracted, and each time returned attention to the body and the breath. At this time nothing happened, just the concentration and return focus back.
• Day 4. The weather as always flawless))) as one last time from 6:00 to 6:30 doing a walk, this time it's a glimpse of the question that is illusory and what is real?

Answer: There is only a moment now and what happens in the moment right now. After came the answer is immediately entered into the role of the ego. and I followed and pride and self praise for him discovered. at the moment or allow myself to play or continue to keep the concentration of not giving the ego the glory. then reached up to a park where dogs slept, he woke up one and started barking at me that I resigned from its territory there was no fear, kept quiet, even for a moment sat down on a bench near the dog, and he noticed again the role of the ego. I did not like that the dog barks at me, I would like to subordinate its will to itself and force it to respond and act a certain attitude to me, such as I saw fit. He looked at her with a high and with his head, as if I'm in charge here. At that moment I realized all this, and just got up and went away from there in peace, gave the dog will. I try to use this new knowledge in everyday life, not just while walking. My powers have grown, but this is not the first time, the question is, will continue further to go deeper or to give in to the influence of maya and shipped in error again?

• Day 5. Since yesterday, my mind is experiencing another test, one after the second, and so on. And as soon give up and take one immediately the second. And while walking Matins I would like to answer the question: What is enlightenment / awakening.

answer: the awakening of this ministry for the good of all that exists. not for its own sake.

• Day 6 distracted by thoughts and return focus back.
• Day 7. In the mind spun situation, which is not fully accepted, and this time distracted attention and returned back, but in moments of awareness had a feeling like I'm in something, if I'm a puppet. Something like this. And another came one reply which I still can not understand, and it is associated with communication or living in a society, perhaps some not conscious excitement was, or something like that, or the desire, and I got a definite answer. I can write the words, but they will never correspond to the resulting insight. Something like this.
• First day. Very quiet, warm. It was in the now moment. I watch the breath, sensations. The thought flashed that tell the neighbors to see me at six in the morning? Who am I? Who's neighbors, who will condemn? This visible world is illusory. Awakening - the illusion of understanding all around. Nature wakes up - the sky was dark, it was lighter.
  
• Second day. I note that trying to go through the dark streets and avoid lighted areas. Who's afraid? Who am I? Who knows me? Ha-ha! Going past the stop, office buildings. All fears disappeared. I - the energy flow like belong from a set of points connected in a single whole. Nature wakes up - the stars were bright, faded and disappeared.
• The third day. I went for a walk and smelled a foul odor. The idea that neighbors brought a huge dog and let it unattended. There was a picture of this dog with open mouth. No dog was not .. illusory thoughts and fears were trying to lull. I went to the area where daytime street dog with a puppy on passers attacks. Everything is quiet. Zaalelo sky on the horizon.
• Fourth day. Just walked at a fast pace. On the street freezing. Thoughts - quickly make a run. Output. On the street no one in sight. Wind wings. Who am I? Who's in a hurry? Where faster? I returned to the moment of now. Peace, silence. Around infinity. In the distance I saw the car, the man beside her. Maybe to turn back? Who's afraid? I keep going. I walk quietly. The man went on his way. None. One void. The sky was overcast, then brightened.
• Fifth day. I noticed that the mind tries to conduct a dialogue about past events, thoughts go back to the picture. Where I am? I come back at the time is now. The mind calms down, the ego surrenders. Thoughts, events, characters are illusory. Who am I? Who is involved in the rally? There is none.
• Sixth day. On a walk on the footpath early exits and the woman waits by the car driver. I encountered it several times already. There was a desire to change the route. But no! Illusory fear all around. Idu. It is worth again. Silent. But another way out of the house, says something and disappears in the darkness. And this went. And if they were? Are they real? Awakening - is the absence of fear and the memory of his true nature.
• Seventh day. There was by intuition. Just moving the body in a certain pace. Observed. There was no one around. There was no fear. The streets are dark or covered? Who cares? I was just there. All single. Dissolved.
• 17 November. Coming out of the door, I felt fresh -moroznoe breath throughout the body, saw her neighbor, how to feed the cats, there was a sense of surprise, flashed the thought, they too do not sleep, meet me. After greeting each other, I went for a walk with joy, realizing itself. Sleepy state gradually began to dissolve, felt the tension in the shoulders, feeling of fear, fear of the unknown, and that there is this uncertainty? death? and who am I ? consciousness! exposing dwarf felt a pleasant relaxation in the body, the noise of passing cars, the creak of snow under my feet, breathing and consciousness of the infinite game.
• November 18th. It was a joy to see how three cats ran forward, when I came out of the house for a walk, to feel pleasure and a sign of the game. Yes, I have a game in every moment, feeling and when cold enveloped the body, the dwarf began to manifest itself, and the present moment is lost, as well as consciousness manifests itself, I began to remember that I do not like the cold, I like to be warm and dressed I like cabbage, to keep warm and still frozen, there is something to ponder, but for a long time did not have to go into the memories, through the character of walking man with a dog, I quickly came to herself, and felt in the body compression, and a sense of fear, forgetting about the cold has gone faster, understanding that there is a reaction on the picture and it is also a moment of the game.
• November 19. Dwarf resisted walk, the body was breaking, the feeling that the body is like after a marathon, I felt a longing for a warm bed, and here we must walk, buhtel dwarf, it's me, the resistance, and I knew translated attention on the breath. So I walked, filled with the breathing, then ached from myself, and when taken like such a dull, the body relaxed and went to the clarity of movement and a sense of calm, but I'm such and it is a game, and there is.
• 20 November. The walk was nice and easy today, everything comes in comparison, I thought, and let be all the states that came, that's what gives the moments of awakening. The body felt calm and ease, felt the love of all, I had a feeling that I'm going to one place, and that's all there is not with me, rather it was dissolving, and I felt a moment of awakening in yourself, knowing that everything is an illusion and is consciousness, which manifests itself through my character and all around me too.
• November 21. Going out into the street, felt a heaviness in the stomach and bloating, as though just ate, watching the breath began to reflect and realized that sitting feeling of self-importance, who it considers itself important? dwarf? yes, afraid of losing relevance? to whom? because I have a thread for one thing, and not something that I represent from itself to charm others and be desired. I have always been and it always is here and now and it will not be more or less on my significance, it just is. Approaching the entrance, a neighbor came out and smiled at me, saying that the boy, I knew that through her consciousness gives me the sign.
• November 22. Today, there is a spontaneous walk, moved according to body momentum, just be in the process, was here and now. Time flew by, felt a surge of strength and gratitude for the fact that it is possible to be in this process. Walking along the streets and feel the thrill felt confidence, but everything changes as the state and around the image, and the time constant.
• 23 November. Today decided to go through the dark park, where there is a reaction, passing by this place. The practice of not doing. Why did I react in the darkness that it's okay, I was thinking, the fear that I was taught from childhood that there bogeyman, a bad guy, a bandit, and I believe it? darkness and light one moment of consciousness and with this attitude, I went into the darkness that conceals a fear of the unknown. In fact, this is an illusion and nothing wrong there is no passing, I felt a wave of heat, the feeling of love and the willingness to gain experience of being who I am? I have a mind game.
• 1 den.17.11.16g. Took to the streets, I breathed a breath of fresh morning air. The street was very quiet and windless. Being in the moment now, for 10-15 minutes and missed aware feeling, they were very pleasant. Taking watched him and asked: I sleep? No I'm not sleeping. It was interesting to watch and to be conscious. Feel bodily sensations and at the same time, I feel, and pass, and take these feelings are not engaging and not tied. Awakening. This is for me the knowledge. Knowing who you are, you just need to be, because that is all there is to take something that gives you consciousness Consciousness to be grateful and be Love.
• 2den.18.11.16g. Today came a bit later-chu 6-30. The weather was warm. Taking a walk down the street, I was joined by a dog, it was me and played, waving tail and jumped. I saw Consciousness plays with me and I did not resist and began to play with a dog, in this case was a conscious, knowing that there is now only a moment. What no one, there is only time is now. This does have a dog, it is consciousness that tests your reaction. Yes, no, but the alarm clock rang and as I turned off the alarm clock, the dog ran away. I go home and feel that I am not the body, and not a character, I have Genesis.
• 3den.19.11.16g.Segodnya 6-00 in the street was very dark, lights are not lit, and the windows were all dark, then remembered that today is Saturday. Well, Lado, who cares and worries? There is not one. dark so dark and went on. There was no fear, was quiet inside. There was pondering and saw that no one and nothing, it's all an illusion.
• 4den.20.11.16g.Na frosty street, wanted to do a warm-up, remembered the universe and those who exercise it gave us. Watch sensations, smelled, listened to silence barking dogs. In the body the energy flowed. And it was warm. Only today, when everyone was asleep, and the windows were dark, and there was silence. I was staring into the distance at the sky, I saw imperceptibly slowly and subtly night passed into morning. It was so natural, because it was a moment now and occurred only at the time is now. And this was not dependent on us.
• 5den. 21.11.16g.Nochyu was little snow. In the morning everything was so pristine and clean and beautiful. Snow lay a thin veil, and it is still no one is injured. From the snow came the light, and so it was a light, white white. I walked without thinking, enjoying the moment right now, watching the bodily sensations, feelings missed. And once again affirmed that everything is there from us nothing depends.
• 6den. 22.11.16g.Segodnya morning cold and wind. Yes, so, too, is that too experience. The man heats the car, smokes and makes no headway against the cold. I watch feelings and accept them. I began to ask: Who am I? Koto is experiencing these feelings? Haha !!! Nobody here. It's all an illusion, there is now only a moment.
• 7den. 23.11.16g.Vyshla from the entrance. Little was sleeping. He raced the car at speed. Just woke up, thanked Consciousness. There was a great appreciation for those morning walks. I walked and aware every moment, every step and movement that I did.
• The first surprise was the reaction of the body to the task (though I was ready for it). I got a job in the evening, the night could not sleep the whole body itched, I provertelas until three in the morning, then fell asleep, and six went for a walk. Panic has not been all that night, I - Consciousness has observed what happens to the body, but the body reacted as though out of habit, out of inertia. The weather was good, the heat is on the street is full of lights and light everywhere. I felt a slight anxiety, watching her. Walking times a pleasure. I-Consciousness watched body trends and the mind. Often afraid and worry - it's just a habit, a trend that is still deep. But I watched them, I saw them as illusory and even somewhere teased them. The problems did not get up early, I had grown accustomed. Be conscious every moment and live all that is - the main task for me now and I practiced on walks.
• 17.11.Hochetsya sleep, in the eyes of the fog. Fear of the dark, I realize, I feel, but it so much. What's wrong with this darkness? Uncertainty ... okay okay ... let it be there is ... what it means to sleep? What does it mean to wake up? Sleep is pleasant, nothing bothers or hurts that (soul). Started the movement, the city wakes up.
• 18.11.16.Ne want to go where? Why? Dwarf against. I feel a dwarf, he was afraid, he is trying to argue, whine, but is aware of the senselessness of resistance. Today, so warm and so many different smells, I'm probably a dog, I feel shades of odors. Interesting. ... Beginning of the movement of cars, people, mainly machinery and seems to move all around and even the air ... that's it ... everything was asleep and wakes up ... and who is this? As if one, indivisible.
• 19.11.16. Met raw wind and unpleasant and pleasant at the same time, and wakes, and invigorates and cools. Strong headache from the night before, so the issues and the work and awareness such as swings, just relax the muscles of the head and brain, if they are there. I look around, breathe in the wind, all asleep, Saturday. minimal movement. Because it was a headache, fear receded into the background, I do not care.
• 20.11.16. The cold, the silence, all asleep, today is Sunday, and therefore at this time the movement is minimal. I hear some strange noise, hissing, whistling, and powerful, pass by under construction high-rise building. Fascinating picture, gray with black windows without glass building, illuminated here and there lights, breathing ... air-to-air circulates in all the rooms open cells. It's like living whistles and sighs and looks at me, you're here and doing now? Why are you here? No, it does not ask, it knows. The feeling that the mind has acquired this form, and simply calls these feelings, but it's amazing, it's like a fairy tale, like a cartoon ...
• 21.11.16. I go out for a walk ... a lot of stars tonight. Do not answer any questions, and I just relax and feel that around, I realized. I saw a fallen star, it's a sign? Wake up ... remembered longtime dream. I came to the newly built city, someone goes and shows me how everything is arranged, and then I got on some mountain, and here I am very high, I have someone called, I got distracted and lost her balance, while in this time is stretched, a lot of thoughts in my head and flies home: "I'm going to die, and nothing can be done." I'm stronger than bowed back and already flying ... and at that moment I wake up.

Some very sleep talking, when there is something "terrible" are becoming awakened. And I suspect that resigned to death, is released, of course it has much to say, but everyone is discovering himself.

• 22.11.16. I go out into the entrance, and there is darkness pitch, I live on the fifth floor. How to go shine your phone not to wake her husband .. also not an option, so go - scary, remembered the lantern, and that I, as a firefly lantern walked today "... .a in his hand lit a small torch ..." brings surprises consciousness in any moment. On the street cold, frosty air, the ego is asleep he has all the spit some reason, unfinished house is silent and still, all poluspit, and only cars start moving, thus saying that soon dawn. They kakoe- the personification of the movement, factory, flash, peak and scurry back and forth. In the dream, whether or awareness? It is like me?
• 23.11.16. Again, there is no light in the entrance, the darkness that is for me? It annoys me and frightening. I walk down the street, wondering what it means to sleep, waking up, nothing goes, only darkness and the cold wind, and even the movement of the car today I do not feel. Dark, thought and reality did not darkness, who creates the light? It is a different feeling, on the one hand somewhere in the depths, in the darkness with everything fluttered and my ego understands that there is not another, but so scared and do not want to reality. It's cold, dark, lonely ... an illusion? ... And what is darkness itself? Sometimes I feel alive and I feel it and I am afraid, like herself. Even after a walk, and to be honest, I'm glad of it, walk in the cold and the darkness did not really like, but of course I understand that it awakens. Walking in tension or in the knowledge that anything can happen, consciousness prepares surprises and forces to be aware. And sometimes both forks are not expecting from him some reactions, who thus responds to the body? Ego? What is sleep? when fully understood, when it is not here or now, in my mind, in my thoughts, in my dreams, fantasies, past or future., in general, not in reality or are struggling with it. And I can see how the ego resists, although he understood that it was useless. What does it mean to wake up? Realize reality, be it, or be it. Who am I? I feel I am trying to grasp, and slipping. It's a game…
• 7 morning walks behind, and the body wakes up without an alarm clock on time, and even muscle ache, requiring the load! The lines from the diary: How cool is this morning walking !! What an amazing Rama, who came up with such a simple and oooooochen productive way to enlightenment! It's just luck! Thank you!!! The first two days to get up, get dressed and leave the house was unusual, the body is constantly stretched in the warm bed. On the street - 28! And the constant question to yourself - unless I can not beat my body ??? The universe has given me a bonus on the first day of play, when put in my way live frozen in the cold rose, I found it under his feet on the wide road. This is a fantastic sign! I asked questions about the Awakening .... and voila! This is the result when you go out beyond his own mind, not prognoziruesh and can not control the events that need to happen, but just are in now! There are many more amazing things have happened to me over the last 7 days! This morning the whole life! I noticed that when my body Kuta from frost and wind, the passersby caught the elderly, hunched. As soon as your player name said, the back straightened, lowered eyes went up and I saw a very beautiful balcony in a series of many of the same type. And across towards young people in sports jackets. How simple! it is necessary to let go of everything that hinders and restricts me! And one morning dropped white fluffy snow and I drew hearts on the hoods of parked cars. And then there was a strong blizzard! From the diary: Feel the tension in your body, I tried to relax and immediately heard inside cells filled with warmth and light. Resistance is futile and pointless. Relaxed body, calm mind - is true. House has pleased me the word computer - it's time to change your password! Yes, perhaps it is time. Many more discoveries happened to me this week and I have not what it was before. The path is opened to me, I continue to live and play, because all events and meetings are not accidental. In today's snowstorm in the snow I saw one card, she was lying face down, I turned it ... Joker! (Thoughts and whispering .... where is the map? Who threw it here? Why is it ?? ...) I did not pay attention to them, and perceived as a sign, it pleased me! Then I play!
• Seven morning walks committed. During morning walks carried out in accordance with the practice of the four floors ... and each time the inner workings took place on different levels .... sometimes long-term presence in the now ... watching the morning sound of snow squeaking and barking dogs ... turquoise skies and sparkling snow. .. sometimes .. thought, settling in the realization of this and work with feelings and emotions .... the events in connection with the body and the moment now and again monitored. In general, seen as a sitting practice is integrated into the motor activity and implemented in the current life ...
• Morning jogs me awake. I watched for 7 days and noticed that the awakening and falling asleep alternated every other day. That is, go out for a run and I notice that I razotozhdestvlena, and the next day - almost asleep, returning moments and aware of who I am. The first two days I was aware that he did not want to wake up, I want to sleep (which merge - sleep). During this same practice run and then I realized the reason (sense of meaninglessness), and working through it. If at the beginning (in the early days), I was aware of myself in the identification with the body, then gradually these days went disidentification. Sometimes you have to clear awareness of the causes of their units, and in the afternoon I played better and was more recognized, see your game, what do I need to play. In the period up to jogging, I have not seen such nuances and work missed draws. In general, the strongest resistance was on the first day, revived the fear of death. And after the resistance was small, I can easily overcome it. All day was the cold weather, but it was only interesting to me. On the last day warmer - this is a gift for the passed test :) It was hard to make it run, because it is not enlivened by a pleasant state, did not want to get into them, and I have merged with the body at once. I tried razotozhdestvlyatsya and watched everything that happened in the moment these days. It helped just skip thus There was one moment when I was razotozhdestvlena and sounded a sound (strange), and at this moment the fear passed through the body without delays, and I feel like this pass without delaying and aware of itself is not the body, and those who can observe behind it. By the end of the seven days, while performing their tasks of awareness appeared in this incarnation, and vision of the game occurred. I have a great appreciation for this drawing power!
• 1e. 17/11/2016. Learning about the job, the first reaction of resistance: it is necessary to say something to my husband, I do not want to explain ... But the joy of innovation initiatives of the day blocked). Awakening - when it wants to sleep less than non-sleep. With this thought I began to walk. My husband explained all its strangeness. He accepted, fearing only twilight. But they were not. More on the sky the moon was visible, but the dawn has come. Time 6.10. The whole trip I was accompanied by silence and beauty. In the silence and even though it was quiet, but the silence over the birds began to sing, barely moving from the wind leaves, occasional passersby with sleepy dogs ... what one looked, all very beautiful home, single trees, flowers, palm trees, the moon, the bright sky ... By the end of the walk I was filled with a sense of joy. And thought: nature awakens, changing the state of sleep on the activity, as well wake up people. Awakening - change of state ... by the way, before the walk to practice, examining the dream where found that much crush their needs to the extent that it ceases to feel them at all. By the end of trips I realized and initial resistance on the instructions of selections is connected with squeezed needs.
• 2d. 18/11/2016. Today barely went out into the street, began to freeze and felt irritation. Observed. Lack of sleep with the effect of accumulated fatigue. Beauty and silence are in space, although felt bleak. Thoughts ran all the time and did not think of the right). And the only reflection was: the awakening - it was a dream))). Haha. I sleep! Instead of irritation remained emptiness. When returning home, I met a squirrel. I play).
• 3 d. 11.19.2016. Again, start walking with a persistent dissatisfaction and body compression from the morning cold. A bit heavy head. Sleep. I want to sleep. All I could think of. And while walking is not thought. Fragmentary thoughts that catches the eye. Morning dew! It should be there, and it is here! Surprise and joy. Slowly morning freshness washed my mood suddenly eased: dissatisfaction melted, leaving a feeling of joy inside, and for a communion with nature. Already wanted to continue walking and after the job selections. Freshness in the head.
• 4den, 11.20.2016. Today, my daughter slept badly and, accordingly, when it is necessary to gather, she woke up. I was able to lull her back, left half an hour to walk. I track my intense fear of leaving her: suddenly wake up. M: father (husband) will then be nervous. Realizing this, I went for a walk. Freshness after rain. On the dark clouds in the sky, through which shines the light of the rising sun. So for me, waking up - is thrown off the shackles of ignorance. crazy notions. Fear of abandonment - that is the basis of yesterday's day-night draw and this morning. He appears again and again. After 20 minutes walk, practice. Where attention transformed the pain of the fear of abandonment in the heart and back to the left. Went acceptance of abandonment and related situations, with the consent of his stay and on receipt of the cognitive experience of consciousness.
• 5d., 21.11.2016. While walking tracked convictions: For the request of the attention being punished, but because I did not deserve. Though really looking forward to. Illumination: The only person who puts pressure on me, it's me))) The whole day was rain. And of course the cool morning, I did not want to get wet. Were thinking, but do not miss it ... I took an umbrella. Went. Surprise: the street it does not rain. Even the mountain already lit the first rays of the sun. Freshness. Purity. Bright colors. Beauty! I feel like as well as feel the nature: body freshness, a sense of beauty ...
• 6d, 11.22.2016. Today, I walk accompanied by an active singing of birds, a squirrel and a clear sky. Today, an awakening for me - it's cleansing and surprise of knowing how much strong resistance was manifested in these 6 days during the day. Lotteries are like mega-pass the exam. The game is cool!
• 7d, 23.11.2016. The last day of the job. Even pity. And it means, again disagreeing with reality;). In the end who is free to continue? She got up easily, went easily with joy. However, I slept well. That, of course, influenced. Easy sky, sun, pink clouds, small month (shrunk during these 7 days), the chirping of birds and croaking crows! Part I of this world! Awakening - a vision of myself in others forms of light. There is only one being who creates heaviness and negativity in your life - it's me. There is only one being, the ability to enjoy and create joy in life- and that too I am!
• 17.11 The hike was easy, woke up a few minutes before the alarm clock. This is the usual recovery time at 6:00. In other CIs, when there were such upgrades, they were given heavier. Came out, I wanted to look at the moon, which is 3 hours ago was closer to Earth and more than usual. Surprisingly, it has abated as if someone had cut a piece of butter))). And then three days vsego)))! Because everything in this world. One thing follows another, flows. It is a reflection of the mind. I am watching the breath and just contemplate. I feel cheerful. The body asks workout, do the exercises in movement, good !!! She remembered the universe with its charging). It keeps track of what took place is very easy to place the blackout, which previously caused fear. In general, there is no fear of the dark. Though of course, where I live a lot of lighting. But SHADOWS !!! But today I'm not afraid of them))). I am waiting for dawn, but the sky is dark, only the city lights. And then I look to where the sun rises !!! Black sky began to fade. It is the connection of the day and night. I feel the joy of waking up.
• 18.11 warm outside, not yesterday froze puddles thawed. Rain tight, so bright moon yesterday, not even visible today. I thought about resistances. In nature, there is also resistance. There are the usual change of the seasons, according to the Earth's rotation around the sun. But there are more cyclones, which dramatically brought snow in October, and then again and again snow. But the Earth is where it is and it is its location implies certain temperature. She resists, flown cyclone. And all this is perceived as a natural phenomenon))). So resistance arising in me, it is also nothing more than a natural phenomenon. Everything has its time. When should something happen, it will happen.
• 19.11. Again little resistance. Sleepy. Thought not. Just watch.
• 20.11 Today, including the mind. The car would not start, which usually is put in the yard at the time. Sunday. And the people are the same. As the frost begins to sink more deeply into himself))) I feel interest. The body is relaxed. Just go and listen to the snow squeaks. Who am I? Anyone who watches from the side of the body movements. Whoever within merges with the infinite emptiness of space.
• 21.11. I wake up before the alarm. How quickly flies by night. In the dream, time flies. So sleeping characters do not notice how time flies. During leisure, too fast time flies. When doing a lot of cases during the day consciously, it is stretched. Awakened can manage time. If you watch while stretched, and it very much. I was just there and do not hurry. I always have. I feel fit and watch the movements of the body.
• 22.11 Frost. This sensation of the body, pinching her cheeks. Many people on the street. Bright moon. I am watching the breath. Catching thoughts. Flying))). Catching and immediately switch to monitor the breathing. Just go just mёrznu))) is similar to mediation real movement. Inside there is a signal, then the brain reacts, such as: the road here recently ransacked and badly completely level, and then makes the body move.
• 23.11 Today is colder than usual. During the 7 days of the moon ball ubyla to fine strips and is closer to the east. The day became shorter and therefore there is no dawn. On the occurrence of I am judging only by the people. Very cold. Who? Only the body.))) Will, which is inside of me, connected into an endless void, driven by this body. Sometimes the mind is activated, it begins to resist: a cold, do not go against the wind))). Today, other sounds. The noise of the wind, the rustling branches, the rustling leaves a residue on the ground. The closer to the track, the louder civilization. Suddenly a dog barked, a man cried from fright. I also started, a wave of fear. For the first time in the last 7 days, fear gripped the entire body. I track it's just a feeling. the body's reaction to a sharp sound. Watching a dog, she is afraid like me showing me, and by the people. Illusion. Anyone who in an infinite void, He is real, and there is no threat to him. 7 days is really a cycle and the nature of talking about it. Especially the Moon !!! Awakening - is a conscious living of everything that happens, no claim, no expectations. But it is very important WILL !!! The will to resist dwarf, Uma, who follow trends and habits of trying to rationalize everything, all to give an explanation. Ha Ha Ha!
• Seven days passed like a flash, share their impressions:

- I woke up with a feeling of fatigue. On the street, making a run around the house, which brought me to the race. house where I spent my childhood, adolescence noted in the body of a painful feeling of pity - life has flown by ... Catching this miserable and unhappy (thought), I heard meowing cats play. A warm wave of humility came down on the body. Yes, it's just sadness manifested by what never was and the one who regrets either. There was a state of peace and playfulness.

- Faced with a strange type - young guy in a hood, a person can not see, see me abruptly turned back, I did, too, unknowingly spread. Fear of injury, the body said the fear of death and guilt that chickened out and did not go after him, identified with the thought of the danger. Ha ha! Again I believed in this idea, and one that I am afraid of, and who is afraid of? All energy in the body went adoption. He rounded the house and went down the street. Then again he drew me in the same place, but already passed and gone, and I continued my exercise. All - a mirage.

- Yes, while jogging early in the morning do not get bored - ran a dog barking at me, which caused confusion in my character. I stopped and began to speak kindly to her, noting in the familiar slight chill of fear, but at the same time with the dog side of the aggression was not, she would greet me, a little offended that I had not grasped the bone for her. Then came her owner, dog, wagging his tail, went away with it. All visible drowned in inner silence.

- Observed internal calm state and stay in the present, being thanks, quiet weather, frosty corresponded to inner silence.

- Today, walking, noting abdominal discomfort. Fear? The realization that this is just a feeling, monitoring - where it is the feeling of fear? Nowhere. In the distance I see the silhouette, running dog, before reaching me, she disappeared. Fear, discomfort in the abdomen, the dog - all gone nowhere. Status of playfulness and love. This is not the mere existence of assessments.

• 1 day . I can not describe everything in my head apathy. This is similar to the senselessness

Condition after the walk: weak in the head.

While walking Laika ran back, and poked his nose into his hand.

There was a fear of light, and thought someone out there early in the morning, it is necessary to me, I look, but her eyes were purposeful. And she felt me, probably from the stadium. This time I saw the game.

But I went, I think it is necessary to monitor the body ... Thought. .. That arises .... for a moment felt body blocks. In the womb tightly compressed, but the body realized ... attention switches to the thought and went ... oh, how cold, how much time do not want to.

Of course I think I'm dreaming, awareness goes thoughts and realizes them. Thoughts come to an end, there is a void. But the emptiness is also perceived through the sense of meaninglessness. The desire to get rid of the state ... it is cold and empty.

• Day 2. Yesterday was probably scared to go to the stadium, I just came up, looked at the situation. But today resolutely went back to tracking at the fear of the cold and darkness, resulting in a feeling of loneliness. The solid block watch in the uterus begin to run.

And I understand that I am already in the process, and I even like to run. And it is not even cold, and here I am no longer alone. It runs a guy, I feel better I'm not a crazy one. Returning home .... guess who I am? Runs attention to the body, feelings, and want to enjoy again those who I am. But I understand how hard sleep.

• 3 day. Today went without a clock, I decided to trust the rhythm, feelings. The street is warm and dark. While there was the stadium, ran Laika greeted and ran on. I saw her owner, we had talked about the dog. But my head was filled with feelings of Elijah. I keep track of how strong the maternal experience for the child. For a merger with anxiety, fear. But this usyplet and I feel pain, I sleep. The sense of separation. It was dawn. It's time to go back.
• 4 day. Status determination to change something, ask for help, to tell people about the concern. State game where I play, as all experience here ... the game can not see clearly, it is hidden behind a veil of supposedly normal life. With these feelings ran through the stadium.
• 5 day. I worried that her husband would think, as usual sick. I'm going quietly with excitement, worry, to not think about me ugly. I go loose, you still go to the task. Dark outside as it is not on its own. During the walk, getting used to the darkness and trust takes place. Today it is walking a black Labrador, and he wants to play on my run. Glad throws hostess and running as soon as I get a new exercise. I go home then the fishermen: the neighbor and her husband's former colleague at work ... a thought ... oh God, they think I'm sick. Rejects himself out of life ... such a cold feeling inside.
• Day 6. I'm going to quickly and quietly, to avoid interference. On the street like that light again ... the idea arises from the rejection itself, the neighbors can see and that is not good to think there is a feeling of rejection and the state of weakness. At the bottom of the stomach there is no power, no sense of protection. Watching the body, this condition ... a lot of people come here for a walk with the dogs. Even with the neighbor house, with him we, for some reason always greet each other ... and now we are also greeted. One of the dogs is still zagavkal at me, and I felt cold, and a sense of rejection. I feel discomfort.

I came home here ... remember that it is necessary once again to go to the street ... my husband gets a disturbing voice summed up my condition and said that the patient, where going?

Nothing pleasant, of course, is no force. And it is necessary for me to accept and understand. Karma.

• Day 7. Today, during a walk exploring their state, I discovered that I wanted to give someone a leash, waiting for the support, love. And destroy themselves (in the uterus unit) ... depending on others. Thoughts: I do not deserve, I have no right. And when I was leaving the stadium woman mistress huskies, staring off somewhere, and it seemed to me. And it is something to think about me, her posture makes me fear ... He can not see and do not even realize (only when I walked past her, I discovered that this fear) of a second ... and head in the defilements . Fear of rejection. Itself rejects itself, the very same from this wake.

• 1den17.11.16 checks were all night I often woke up, first daughter up and she needed help, and then the phone rang, I got up with fear in her chest it was experiencing for her daughter's death and the fear of loneliness, in a restless night I finally slept less than usual . I knew that this rally so that I overslept and did not started the job. Yes, in the morning I was in touch, but as jokes were all night I started the alarm clock and put it away from the bed, and when he called, I could not turn it off reflexively and continue to sleep because He rang a few times and I had to get up and go find it in the dark. Out on the street I felt cold all over the body, the resistance of a walk was not, and the thought that I need to run, but I certainly do not go prepared to walk as I jog mode is enabled later in time with the rise of the sun. Flooded sorrow and condemnation of themselves imperfect. Directing attention to the body, I felt cold it helped me to move, I dressed very thinly because used to run and a lot of clothes to wear layers. The route I did not know where I will head, but the seventh sense directed forward, the idea that I came out in the wrong gear, intercepted at the moment because I was wearing a very bright clothes, I had clearly seen even in the dark, and people were in the black. Worry about the fear of rejection the first minute. 5 are not allowed to hear the body as soon as I'm allowed to be a fear, and allowed to be bright, the body became warm. Deciding to make a charge on the street in the city, I feel shame and stiffness, as running out of the city at 10 km I feel free, and only there razotozhdestvlyayus with who I am not! Catching myself at that, I thought about the job and the questions: Who are you and I sleep or not? Yes, I sleep, but wake up with flashes of awareness. In that moment, I stopped and decided right there to make a charge, the feeling of fear has increased, moving away from the curb, I saw the area, making the exercises, the body liberated I felt the warmth and freedom. Time has flown home did not want to go, so always go out hard and then do not drive.
•  2den18.11.16. I woke up before the alarm clock alarm, feeling of pressure in the chest, the panic fear of death for his daughter, the resistance is not to go for a walk. Outside on the street, I felt the temperature warmer than yesterday, it gave me some slack on the motion, I felt sadness body apathy, blamed himself for not having prevented the jump daughter with a garage. Thought to be overshadowed in this, switch to the attention of the breath feel weak and helpless that I can not change anything with the trauma of her daughter. The understanding that life awakens me through these events, the desire to destroy the sadness without her return, but it is not the desire to live the guilt comes thanks for your understanding. I woke up already in place, which yesterday did charge at the site, turning to this place, I proceeded to the squat. Body scored emotion, hard for me to do sit-ups, I have committed to 3 times more time. I can not do now, but connecting the breath and awareness by doing the exercises, I went home. People at 6.30 run very fast in a hurry. The thought that I could not go slow, you need to hurry, too, like all social. fear. copies of rejection. p. death. Allowed to be around as is, I continued to walk at their own pace, and suddenly a passer guy who went to a meeting with a claim loudly said: "What is interesting to walk? Dally? "My response was that is detached from the outside I silently as if nothing had happened, went past, but what was going on inside me turned upside down, at first I felt hot, then cold, fear of death, guilt. Realizing the fact that consciousness is revealed, the body helped to return to the breath and I saw the draw.
• 3den19.11.16. Today woke without worries about her daughter, with the emotion of joy. Out on the street, I immediately slipped, fell and hit his elbow, immediately thought of setting out for a walk: that is illusory and what is real, I sleep or not? At the moment of breath, I feel a sensation, awareness, thought is not gone mad in the illusion, I notice what is happening now. No one with whom identify themselves. On the street people less Saturday than on a weekday. Waking up what is it? The process of self-realization. Here are throwing 10 years ago I had no idea that such a walk in the morning, freshly cooked meals without leaving in the pan for tomorrow, to dance in a club without alcohol that is sport and what it eats! I began to carry out the cup analysis that changes in consciousness and what I'm doing now and with what motive! Perhaps this is the process of awakening!

Doing exercises, felt how the body likes to be in shape, knowing every move inhaling and exhaling, I felt a surge of energy and vigor.

• 4den20.11.16. Out on the street, felt colder than the last two times, was small snowflakes snow, I fell into a fairy tale. I plunged into the thrall of nature's beauty. When I went to a bright light, underfoot it was still strewn with small diamonds, and for obscuring the tree, in the shade of him shine snowflake to be seen and gloomy without shine snow and light from the lamps. I thought about the job and realized I pay attention to the outside and the inside .Oschuscheniya forget that the body: a shiver from the cold, I added the pace, reaching the point where I stop to charge, I realized that I do not change the route during 4 days and I saw how I act unconsciously monotonous, anxiety, an emotion of sadness, social. fear of abandonment, ind. fear of death. Taking charge, warmed body, a feeling of joy. Approaching the house, I remembered how hard it was raised today as a changed state after a walk. Realized that such approval itself. I let only after a good exercise, for example, running 12 kilometers, I say to myself, what I done, and after the usual walk around the city, I'm going to blame and condemnation of that wasted time. Who was the love of self for the usual walk and gratitude, I saw a trend-maker and belief benefit from the exercise.
• 5den21.11.16. Every day, the outside temperature drops below, I felt even though the thermometer when out on the street. The indicator is a body: feeling cramps on the face and legs hips, I had to go at a fast pace .Today could see the stars and the moon, the sky is clear. Every day is different, as the nature and state of health, I catch myself, I always want to be happy and cheerful, but it does not happen. Controlling I cease to be natural, especially in the presence of a close, with myself I notice that I give myself the freedom and let go of control and turns everything easily. Directing attention to the breath, I felt a burning sensation in the nose it helped keep the focus on the body .When I was doing exercises noticed as soon as the breath goes astray the rhythm, I start to feel discomfort in the body, such as squatting I do breath and exhale get up, distracted by thoughts straying breath, once there is a heaviness in the body and shortness of breath, noticing this, I am aware of the involvement in thought, rebuild breathing and flowing energy. I started to notice this year, when it became more intense sports, sprinting and long bike trips, I saw a completely different state, when you hear the body closely. The house was heading briskly saw on the bank's building - 17 degrees. I smiled, because leaving home, I said: "Today is colder than yesterday at 5 degrees." And yesterday it was -12. Where is this information? Who am I ? I constantly ask myself!
• 6 den22.11.16. Today is a very difficult and long climb, sensations: weakness in the body, weakness, drowsiness, all the conditions for the continuation of sleep overcame weakness in the side will, I got up and went to get dressed. It does not just given awakening when all the household slept until 8.00. Every morning I feel guilt and anxiety for those who are asleep. Soc. fear of betrayal., ekzist.str. freedom. I spent time on the build-up for a long time going, but when I went outside, the situation changed, courage and desire to move to live. The street is alive because people move fresh and frosty. I walked at a fast pace, as soon as caught stuck in thinking, the transition to breathing. Doing exercises in the cold fear of rejection, fear, thoughts of social disgrace. p. rejected ekzist.strah odinoch. Crouching, I felt a surge of strength and heat throughout the body.
• 7den23.11.16. There was a very easy, the body without resistance, a feeling of freedom. -20 On the street, left without a scarf constant discomfort in the neck, cold feeling led me to this moment, the thought proceeded smoothly without stopping. Charging was intense than in previous days. Recognizing that natural conditions can not be changed, and even there is no resistance to the fact that it became colder weather, no outbursts of anger to change the cold to heat, or heat to cool, adjusting to the different conditions of nature I was even wondering adoption to prepare for the next change of climate and year-round, to acquire the necessary equipment. For example, this year, this is my first winter in which I run. It seemed to me that this is beyond me and I had to learn a lot, learn how to get out and run and not to freeze or sweat during jogging. In walking the walk is more difficult to concentrate on the moment, on the nature of the diversion or external objects, although the body when freezes, start paying attention to the present moment. Today, thinking, why do I get better concentration during long jog in 1.5-2 hours, and at 30 minutes walk. attention is scattered? When I ran for a long time, I certainly know that I need the endurance to run 15 km, realize that you can not stop because You can freeze and know that if overwhelmed by a fast run, it will suffocate and would not be able to continue training, so breathing is aligned in the monotone movement and focus only on the body, for a walk.

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