On your marks! Issue 3. Part 1. (Diary of the 5th Winter Games, the Remote.)

Wednesday 14 December, 2016

I am glad to be in nirvana, but karma does not start.

Thus, the participants fifth Winter Games Complete the remote selections, which began on November 16 and came right up to the start line of games.

A bit of statistical selections:

Out of 100% of the applicants on the game, the start of the Games has reached 76%.

24% - it is the participants who withdrew from the games due to mismatch of expectations (which were new participants) of the participants had been rejected from participation in DI due to irrelevance type lottery game at the time and a very small part of the participants were not able to qualify.

At the second stage of selection, participants were to reclaim their rights to the force is played in this season in the material terms and devastated. But the third stage of selection was the training Visions draws.

To learn how to see the draw and play it, what it means to lose or win a lottery, read this article:


     There's good where there is no karma.


Loss - rings D. I can not really answer, and answer briefly and dryly, that to no one... Left alone, I call, as it were excuses, I want to be good, not to offend. But DA needed to respond to him that way.

    
Loss - like myself "unload", called in the help KA I see that it solves their problems and I "load" itself of its problems. I did not immediately see the character - my mother persuaded me to help her. I "help" - House result - the pressure. Symbol missed.

    
The win - I used to hide from the daughter of his communion with elder granddaughter, ie to interfere daughter, monitors, criticizes me and scolds her granddaughter... I kid because of the fear of condemnation. I talked with her daughter. I said that I have the right to communicate with his granddaughters, I trust them, do not interfere in their relationship with her. And she can not control me and forbid me to communicate. Daughter took everything with bayonets - I calmly and firmly to end the call. Now I communicate with children with love and joy, not hiding, and not defensively.


    
Win - aches company that few people. I calmly, does not involve. The company praises the other resorts - streamlined.


    
I'll start with the lost drawings. 1 One of the departments of the administration turned to our company with a request to buy from us the instructions. Two weeks and six times I answered their calls and all explained in the seventh time I have expressed to all of them for their bureaucracy, ability to work and so on. Saying all this, I watched the bubbling anger in me. Injustice stood to his full height, and although I was aware that vedus this rally could not stay longer. 2. The second draw of the same: I was discussing with a colleague legislative changes for the coming year. They are radical. Again disagreement with reality and a sense of injustice. And I was led again, although aware of this.


     I'll start with the lost drawings. 1 One of the departments of the administration turned to our company with a request to buy from us the instructions. Two weeks and six times I answered their calls and all explained in the seventh time I have expressed to all of them for their bureaucracy, ability to work and so on. Saying all this, I watched the bubbling anger in me. Injustice stood to his full height, and although I was aware that vedus this rally could not stay longer. 2. The second draw of the same: I was discussing with a colleague legislative changes for the coming year. They are radical. Again disagreement with reality and a sense of injustice. And I was led again, although aware of this.


    Now conditionally won rozygryshi.1. My visiting mom exacerbate the fear of death: there is a strong tension in the body, headache, desire to resist. Sensing this, I turned to the inner child, who thought my mother to blame. I explain to him that the fear of death is a deception, illusion, the more I came to him in this life for its consideration. And my mother has nothing to do with the fear that in my head. She lives her life and goes on his way. It became easier, calmer. I was able to properly communicate with his mother, though trying not to dwell much. 2. The daughter health problems. Fear of losing a child - is the main fear of the mission to date. In general, there has now come a time when the fears with which I worked in meditation 2 or 3 hours a day, manifest in my life really, and with them we have to work 24 hours a day. Despite covering my pain and horror, I accept the conditions proposed by me, realizing that her daughter - a consciousness that passes your way. And how else can you get her to wake up. Consciously I live their feelings and help her with his love.


    In the evening, calling her daughter, there is a tragedy, tears. And again, my mission is to draw, I can not live for another, even very close, it's her feelings and situation, I can not save. I live helplessness, let be. Daughter already laughing, she understands and feels a lot.


** I love my neighbors, but the noise of them nozit me constantly! That stupid laugh, you scream like mad, the child was crying hysterically, then turn on the vacuum cleaner 23, and about the TV, I do not say anything, because he simply does not have them off never (unlike me - hardly turn) !!!! Moreover, studying at the Academy of Leela try to go to bed at 22, and they have at this time of the height of the event. This situation (my irritation) did not suit me and I decided to act. I fell in love with the neighbors for what they are, because they live in close-knit family, are aware of all the news, clean, raising a child, etc. On persuasion Dwarf I found positive and oh, miracle! Yesterday went to bed under a calm pleasant music, which was heard by neighbors. True to this little posverlili in the bathroom, but it's great to train !! What hardware guy !!! Today, even he is listening - and they silence !!! A couple of days - What wonderful my neighbors !!! Previously, I was irritated by any sound from them (with the other parties do not bother me or I can not hear them). Now, I sometimes listen - well over there ??? Yeah, talk, yes, the baby began to cry, and hear more and more for themselves to pleasant music, what a pleasure!


** I can not go through the lesson and play a role in the game. My mother, I love her, and she takes care of my vice versa. I want to transplant it somewhere softer, and she thinks, what prevents me constantly offended at all. I do not know than to please her ... He plays the role of victim, she lived in an environment where it is not very well treated by relatives. I took it, but I find it difficult to accept her behavior. And the next day - my mother - that's my teacher! Everything that happens between us - it's a game! Playing my ego! My Dwarf! God, how I love her, my grumblers ... .Before tears!
I am grateful for the opportunity to write a diary! It must be so! You sit down to describe the problem or question, and they dissolve by the end of the recording, or turn into a problem! What a wonderful world with its magical transformation !!!


    The main draws are in collaboration with his father, where is the manifestation of service, compassion, love, and sometimes fight with a dwarf, ending with a loss. - At night, the father once again wakes, irritation - prolonged period of restless nights are felt fatigue, became involved in a whining, here unconsciously manifested anger and at this point going on about the provocateur, Burch discontent, then replaced by a sense of guilt misbehavior behind the breastbone ache ...
In the morning practice in live loss (abandonment, loneliness, death - the illusory concept of the mind), the rejection of this reality - long ill father, aware of an attempt to improve the reality of the ego and the most important to control the process and how my character he creates a disturbing night, resisting the fear of loss. I give up in making the body's natural aging, illness, fear came in the body of the sternum unit. Dissolve your controller Consciousness gratitude for this experience again and again my character awakening from sleep. Game Consciousness is continuous and there is no end to it. Ha ha !! Follow Surprisingly quiet night, then again who is surprised? This elusive tried vstryat and immediately disappeared into the void. Quite simply manifestations of the present. Smile Consciousness ...


     I hear the roar of the room, his father fell, got up from the sofa, without internal fuss with the knowledge of the present moment and without the usual filling-in the mind that it can happen to strike - such as hip fracture, and dire consequences (fear of loss), helping to stand up to his father with a sense of excitement in the chest, with humility is the adoption of the experience and the confidence of the present moment. Playfulness Consciousness ...
Having found in the mailbox of the receipt from the tax for non-existent debts (a very large sum, addressed to his son), became involved and Mesh provocateur (fear of loss), which began to hatch plans for how to correct situation, putting on their shoulders the responsibility for the outcome of events.


     She came immediately, the next day - the awareness of fear of poverty, helplessness. Ha! Yes, it's a game! Do not get bored! Because the adoption of any outcome of this event, let go of the one who controls, give the responsibility to love his son, living experience delusions - of injustice, not attachment to the material world, son ....


    The main fear of death intensified in the body in the form of a rather intense pain in the right half of the abdomen (6 points), repeated every day. The consultation decided to deepen the problem, t. To. "This" very subtly notices that say there is no death, and no one at all, but the body breaks, it means to protect intellectual. I see a picture where I am ill, immobilized, the son has to take care of. Horror! I looked with despair in his eyes that fear the painful end

... And suddenly the laughter interrupts this tragic drama turning into a comedy, seeing clearly where my character took her fantasy of the mind. A wave of heat spread throughout the body. After the consultation has included "Mouzon" and danced, surrendering all the internal flow taking. It has long been so much fun !!! And it is also a manifestation of the present, which wisely observes and allows everything to happen ...


    Lost delayed winnings. Money. I notice that I was starting to complain about the lack of money, or start counting where I spent and blame myself for it ... on one hand I see it was a joke and I can not go out in the body of contraction in Manipur region, mental attack, go out on the feeling of fear of loss, powerlessness but not completely impossible ... to accept defeat can be repeated for some time, a few hours or days. The prize comes during practice or advice when handing loss and impotence is totally ... to disidentification and acceptance of just any "terrible" scenario))).


    Health. I notice any symptom in the body and begin to "zaparivatsya" to complain to someone, look in the Internet drug, in general, resist ... explore the state in the body, the chest portion or the stomach, panic, health, fear of loss, loneliness, helplessness, fear sudden death ... such drawings can also be prolonged. Another notice such protection concept "I am not the body, all the roles are played by consciousness ..." and fair delivery does not take place. This lottery win is even more difficult, it is easier in practice or when consultation disidentification with the body.


      There are the usual jokes with a sense of the importance of human rejection notice and immediately catching on that "I know how it should be ..." Who is this I? attention to the body, the senses, for the moment ... often comes the excitement of what is affected? What is resistance? Who do I identify? What is a shadow I bet? With awareness comes appreciation and full acceptance of all that is happening to the person and vision of the game! So great!


     I reassured him that all is well with us asked if he'll come home tonight. I.skazal that does not know, but probably not: - "I can go for two days, only to get warm, and again in the cold." Prisluschalas to the body, surprisingly no reaction. Quietly he listened and agreed with him: - ". Well, yes, of course ice still thin, still dangerous, but it failed, like last time." Suddenly quietly sounded in his head: "Well, as always again tomorrow birthday will celebrate without him." Hearing a feeble attempt to shake my emotions become ridiculous. Provakatsii failed, in full acceptance. Do not come, do not come.


      In the morning I woke up early, soak up, I remembered that my mother gave birth today :). By 11 recorded on a manicure. Baggage, I realized that I am late. Inside quietly in front of me a friend who is always delayed by 15-20 minutes. :) Left home at 11 and went to the bus stop, the bus is usually suitable for five minutes. Today exception :)) happened naturally. The bus came after 25 minutes. His head was showed sluggish voice: - "Can not go?" - "Yes, well, even interesting, but suddenly Sanya too much late! :)" Listening, I had the feeling that most likely it is.


       I went to the salon manager, saw me, squinted his eyes and pointedly said: - "They are still arbayten". - "Who would doubt :)!" Glancing at the clock, I ofigela 11-35! Alexander saw me languidly said: "But we do not hurry, thought you were not coming." Inside lightning reaction - in the area of ​​compression of the abdomen. In response, slipped sarcastic: - "?. Why are you like a bud is when something different :)" I tutzhe got to pay. Inside all laughed, got :)). When came back, Marina already changed the water. We swapped with Sasha, stared at 11.40 hours. Well, okay. I do not have time to paint your nails, do a simple manicure. The phone rang, it was my mother, she congratulated me. Alexander heard, I realized that I forgot to congratulate on his birthday. Very upset, I forgot. Inside, it does not respond, I do not care. I had to calm her :)) and left upset, could not forgive myself :). After 30 minutes came and told the administrator that the client who was discharged 12 hours. We have to laugh to the Marina, and then the next customer called her and said that is delayed by 30 minutes. We have to laugh again. When taking, as is the life of all satisfied, as expected :))!


      I noticed that at first I resented that my ex-husband speaks negatively about her daughter, judge ёё. But I said quietly that he did not always reasonable and it's not working in your life. Why do you condemn a daughter? She spoke softly, without emotion, as if from outside, being in this moment. When awareness is easy to communicate with people, you start to play. Surprisingly, he did not say anything, not angry. Both were quiet and well.


     Calls sister. Neighbors in the country, right next to the fence, filled the foundation for the house, even in the autumn and sister did not dare tell them. I advised how to say it better. Sister suddenly angry and says that she knows what's best. He says that I am very ascended and pronounces my shortcomings. I was once inside, the pro game is not remembered, but in the moment now present and answered calmly. Kakoe- the calmness and mental clarity. Sis hung up. After 10 minutes, I called back. Hearing my friendly voice, she calmed down. If I accept the reality as it is, I'm getting stronger. Ask yourself the question: what did not like her sister in a conversation with me? Why is reacted? It's my otrazhenie- consider themselves smarter and also annoyed when you do not accept the reality, such as it is. And 3 roygrysh confirmed this. I tear off a wall in the kitchen tiles 7, when the son left, and he was against it. I made a mistake in the figure (not balanced), and I did not like. Master, the neighbor refused to glue, as promised to the son did not remodel. I didn `t know about it. I think to make, but the winners are not judged. She asked me to help her ex-husband, he lives in this apartment, and he does not care. And this hurt him risen. I understand the mind that everything happens as it should. And feelings are raging: and feelings injustice and loneliness, and humiliation and helplessness. Cried, indignant, reproached. I understand, but could not stop. Then: Stop! RESIDENT offense. Living. It became easier. But consciousness has become a heavy, square head, and his hands dropped. ёschё fear remained. I'm afraid of the reaction of his son. Drawing missed. We have to go into fear. Today, as a magnet draws. There are so many turns. My head hurts, there is no concentration. So be it.


    In response, it was reported, with simple and plain words, but !, they caused me so much pain in the anahata that I burst into tears. Tears flowed spontaneously, and did not seem to depend on the mind. Deep pain. I divided: part of me is crying, the other part was watching. And the mind trying to find the cause (motive). I did not try to stop the pain, I tried to be there to understand. Simultaneously with this whole process I have engaged my daughter, washing dishes ... the pain is intensified, then weakened. Recalls the situation bereavement, the break in relations, I missed it. Then there was the idea: fear of pain, fear of open love. This realization has led to the gradual drainage of tears, emptiness. I cried for about an hour. In a few hours there was in the heart of the heat, some humility and deep forgiveness. In the morning again received a message from his sister with a description of its analysis of the situation and the recognition that it was against me that instead of voice, replaced the quiet anger, manifested in a major quarrel. And she wrote his. There was a sense of accomplishment. Like some kind of stove gravity left between us ...
Thus ended the rally. (+)


      When it came to the selection of the job, I continued the daily drawing: be late, and go on before. Every day I say "Sorry, I'm late" and "Sorry, I have to go right now". At first I felt discomfort, m: the right to be on time, you need to respect and leave when the lesson is over, but not before. I'm not good, just now doing it herself. FROM: conciseness. Wines.
I suddenly realized drawing on the third day, it is possible to move quickly (running), but do not rush and do not shrink so tired of these runs. I will come on time or late for more or less time - does not matter. I relaxed. And my jog turned into morning extra practice: As soon as the rush of body compression and aspiring shortness of breath awakened me, I went back to attention.
At 3-5 day early departures from school, I went quietly, without feelings of guilt and feelings that miss classes. Every time tracking his condition.
As result, I ceased to be late and come in time for her daughter (for which I was leaving early from college) to school and to classes at the college, I came second, despite my late arrival time. ))) Conclusion: everyone plays their game, and everything happens as there is.


     These days I am doing a lot of shopping: the need for the school, the warm clothes daughter ... household expenses. I have noticed that now costs money easily and with pleasure. I escort them in a way ...))) and has been used very well, until the brother asked me for a loan amount equal to our hotel costs (rent, communal). Knowing his difficult situation, I could not refuse. On the other - there was a protest returns. Since this is not logical. Recently, he has so many financial problems. Although just about to be paid his insurance ... having discussed all the conditions, I strongly risked, I give him the money. The severity. Disbelief. Irritable. I came home, got into the practice. After all, with my spirit will definitely be a problem ... I admit, but I do not believe him specifically. I went in severity. I have a choice: to be in a situation of distrust and heavier, or trust. I opt for the trust. Then it switches: I trust the universe. Completely. Brother can easily give me debt. I surround him with love. I dissolve in trust the universe.


      Today, there was a sensation in the chest in the form of block or pain) (while watching video Satsangs the frame, where every tracked down his emotions) and jointly conducted the study itself, I had a fear of what might happen, and acceptance of the fact that my ideas about how I should conduct myself did not match reality. and I am going into self study. and caught myself on this point, I unconsciously deny the emotion (like everyone else), unknowingly took it for something eternal and unknowingly associating it as a threat, and all this time resisted. and in that moment I realized, it just happens, in this there is nothing wrong with that, it is not eternal) why I consider that it is eternal ???? I do not understand) was even funny) all my life I did that))) but once realized, calmed down and allowed her to be just. I do not resist. Understand that even floats itself and I'll be watching, it's not forever, all the emotions were never eternal but I took them as and suffered because of the blind spot.) All this while watching the video frame. Most interestingly, when I heard something useful immediately put on pause, I made adherence to itself and received a reply, and when continued watching a video, received a confirmation.) I opened a new gift))) would seem a trifle, but it's exactly what I not enough)) I just went out and after that awareness could clearly catch yourself in the place where I tried in every way to justify their actions in the mind because of not acceptance of reality !!! This is exactly what I needed !!!! base base, if I succumbed to pride and chose the higher game would lose such a beautiful gift))) Today I spent many hours without getting lost and being aware of emotions. There was a sense of humility, peace and the feeling of let everything be so, for what it is and I'll just watch.

    
       SECOND DRAWING lasted for about 3 days. Every time I see that all my fears at the expense of the future, they are not met), today I went to school with interest), I knew I did not have learned what I had to, that my expectations were not fulfilled for the hundredth time, I was wondering what would happen, I was willing to pay for all activities was ready to accept everything else) and this time, too, I got a surprise gift) is the man to one who, after my 6 years in darkness and judgment, depressed, negative, and so on. P. suddenly he came. Two years have not seen it))), it opened my eyes, my spirit and helped me lose and forgive all (negative and anger into existence) and all absolutely !!!! since I forgive everyone) but this is not on the understanding from what I imagine it inspired (I hope). And today, I met him again, the first person in the world who could take me for what I was. And fall in love with a man. But this time when I suddenly after so many years again saw))) I do not feel anything), there was only emptiness) inside I said to myself: what is happening? Your friend came back after so many years and you hug him impartially, anything at that moment did not feel, and to his surprise he was still treasured by me.) I could give in to emotions, and have a strong desire to re-bind it to himself his feelings of brotherhood), but despite that is the only desire that I have, I can not give in to it) I can not select more than feelings, emotions and delusions, I do not want to choose the right instead of the feeling, but I will do this. I began the study itself to this strong moment for me and did not allow himself to get involved and stay calm despite the fact that a lot of things inside me at that moment happened. I do not know why but when the man next to me I'm starting to see the world with new eyes, understanding and compassionate. (It feels like looking at himself, that part of myself that I DO NOT SEE YOURSELF) feel full of love. And at that moment I was watching and contemplating the words of Rama. On account of the fact that it is not the other make us feel good or bad. And even now I continue to watch. I'm in the moment when he came, the feeling was if he had never left, and was always there, I never felt content that we never left). But no matter how beautiful were not feeling or emotion they are illusory. So much want them to give in), but now do not have enough personal power to succumb to it. Or ignorance. I can demonstrate its warm people, to feel it, but it does not ascribe to themselves, or just pretend. Before, I wanted to catch that feeling and make it stable and eternal inside of me, but now I understand this game. As if it's fine no matter how hard or did not want to go beyond that, I will not go. And if I go, I will try to remain neutral, and personal power that has accumulated in and translate. In my head spinning words: you say that erred and he lost awareness) and that notices it))) whether the? More try to follow the advice and send love to yourself, what would she be emitted at all, and not just on the man)
After yesterday when he came back, I watched him, I have connected with it had a lot of trends that now, after training the mind, the life, the time has come again for us to meet. But this time it's very different. The difference between sleeping me 2 years ago, and is now with me now. I'm not trying to detain him longer in itself, I'm not trying to make these volatile emotions stable, if there is a desire to go back to them and I start watching within itself everything falls into place. The importance that I attach to it, those suggestions which I limit myself, everything starts falling apart) I see your shame (humble personality), and I can put this part of himself to the side and to behave as if was never conservative. Especially in those moments when the feeling forbids me to talk freely). I have noticed a tendency to disappear, which is justified. I pushed myself out of society because of fear, judgment, etc., and now when I'm watching this, these activities acquire some wisdom and take on light. When I first tasted the feeling of acceptance of yourself from the other person, I turned the emotion in the obsession, dependent. In a kind of drug, he behaved absurdly out of fear of losing it. And lost!))) More like)) But now, I'm watching these trends, they will either pass or turn, that is, used to be dependent, and now this dependence is simply a bodily sensation. How could I let it be, but no more. Yesterday wanted to find a balance for the beginning point for the individual, between the feeling of love and independence of this feeling. I feel that I am completely absorbed in the emotions and feelings but now it's different, I got carried away, but watch for an increase, in constant robot. I'm starting to lose my sense of attachment to it. I slowly let go of it, each node is missing, and in freedom. 

We must get out of the mind.


        From the moment he discovered his fears of rejection and I try to move in their direction) everything that previously could not take, I began slowly to the next day or 3 days to keep this fear is revealed to him. I feel kind of tired and lazy even, but do not stop. I noticed as consciousness returns me all the tests that I put a lot of years, I see them clearly, understand and remember. I have passed through them, but it was not ready and fought. My modesty, society began to overcome invisibility and try to open walking fears in the face))) and behind them, when turn around, nothing terrible and there was, I tried to run away from responsibility, mental pain, etc., and now I am going to meet them ) problems in general, that no, I forget, go astray and enter totally into the role, but inside me there is a struggle. Consciousness is more than I will not let go back, no matter how desirable and how not tried))) I'm used to. I observe, remember, remember, and continue to go forward as I can. If it is impossible to go crawl. I do not know the pain I do not run, but only by suffering, and at the same time understand that suffering does not exist). I feel inside as if the driver or the light that shows the way to me, and I follow the light (the teacher). My reaction to some situations have changed, but it seems to me that I can err. There is an idea that, if I understand something, it will not act foolishly, because of the possibility to realize it, but the mind does not want to, so I did not pay attention to the place from the outside, and fought inside this my expectations are not met . I let go of the person to whom themselves tied. But I start to notice that there are those who want to create a friendly relationship with me, and then I noticed a fear of attachment to people. I try not to tie yourself to others. But it is somehow trying to avoid this attachment or tendencies (and still have a strong tendency within me to tie him with other senses.


     I have noticed a strong denial of the social life in me. This is my blind spot. (For example I do not accept the relationship, a sense of attachment, judgment, etc. sexual relations). Almost everything that is born in the society. But behind all this feeling that there is something that I can not see.
Brought granddaughter to the son, he met the cold, was busy cleaning, chest ached, resists. I want to thanks. Child Section, he said goodbye and ran his business. What's my joke. I want to drink the love from its source, he would not feel his abandonment, I remembered a mission - not attached. He, too, was in a hurry. So, too, can be. I have my own source of love. Calm.


     Have planned a lot of things for the coming weekend, the girls from work sent SMS, our "tyrant" once again became ill child, the output will not, anger, rage, my plans crumble! He wrote angry response, mentally blaming her, became involved, lost. Later in practice lived, anger, rejection, injustice, meaninglessness. Consciousness through it raffled off me, she has played its role. Do you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, let them have the child recovers.


      This morning received the sad news that my left Yakovlevna. My first thought was "otmuchilas, freed," then gave way to tears of sadness, one more dear to man left me, felt sorry for herself, revived the fear of loss, it is just a fear, not a loss, she suffered greatly from illness, no longer lived, most part of the day was in a trance, finally freed. Thanked the consciousness of our meeting and her warm up to me. She remembered the mission, we are here temporarily, I, too, had once gone.


       I told my husband about their ideas for the upcoming repairs, he listens to a certain point, then starts yelling at me, I'm back, "spoke." What is the draw for me? He replied not obtekla, defended the answer in the same tone, did not go inside themselves, accused him, including the victim. How could it be differently? He yelled, I stopped and I start to go to feel hurt, rejection, meaninglessness. After all, he has a vision of the issue, and he is entitled to it, only the first reaction is always violent, and a little bit of patience would have made dialogue.


    I went to the kindergarten, which is now working with the kids in the pool and saw that the water did not collect, have not prepared the place. Felt reaction condition tracked down and conceding this point, took everything as it is. I went to the Methodist report that is not busy today, and she told me, said very well, and that we have today in these groups will be preparing for the children's contest "Boomerang" and smiled. Here it is a game, and I felt happy to go deal with them!


    They came to school kids, small and helpless, I look at them and feel sorry, as a caregiver pulls them and shouting at them that they undress slowly. I hunt down prey, watch the process and help them in silence, taking it as it is.


      I looked at the time, late for class, went to the reaction, understand that someone in a hurry who are anxious to hunt down and worked this moment came when, just hours set five minutes ahead and forgot. But there was a chance to play. Drawings where dwarf won. I called the teacher to the school, said that his son was not to prepare for lessons and some things do not go. Start talking with the child and went to sleep, accusing him and cursing, he does not think about the future and not to respect me. At that he said that I was bothering him with his talk, and only makes things worse. I went to resentment, pain that is so. Start making excuses, I do not know what became involved.


    From the coach, basketball coach came and started to talk a director dunce that can help to organize the competition. At first I listened and losing vigilance asleep. He succumbed to the condemnation and disappointment.


    When he came to visit, my sister asked the child how to learn. And I began to tell him that the case had not so hot, and I can not do anything, nothing that I can not help him, wearing a mask of the victim.


   At night a lot of snow has fallen. In the morning he saw drifts Dwarf whined to clean the snow again. Catching himself on this, so stop "Who whined?" Immediately awake, realizing the sacrifice. Haha I caught. Dressed ski suit and went to clean the snow. When it came to the garage and saw that his mother is already with a shovel and waiting for me, I became so funny. We brushed the snow that -That told each other, laughed, and did not even notice how to remove all the snow. Cheerful and in excellent mood after a good exercise went to drink tea.


    Released with Vodokanal, I got into the car, and it does not start. I calmly talking to a machine, my dear, that you need. And I see as consciousness fun and smiles. And I do not know what to do. Good! I open the hood, look inside, and do not understand anything. A very funny! She took the phone and dialed V., it is not available. Came the thought, probably on the hunt. Good guy and asks: need help, I'm joy, "Yes, of course. My girl does not want to wind up. " Guy: Okay! Let's see what's in your girl. Something twisted, looked at it and wonder, the car started up. It turns out that one terminal unscrew a little, began to poor contact and so do not start. Thanked Man. Sat in the car and realize when you set up for good, it is also good around you. At this point, there was a big thanks to Consciousness.


     I came mother began to complain as all bad, here it hurts, it hurts, nothing pleases. I listen to it and see what she wants to support, attention and understanding. I began to talk to her, say, let's go to the hospital, to go to the regional hospital. She immediately stopped complaining, recalled an event that occurred recently (very funny) tells him. We started to laugh and she completely forgot about their sores. I certainly saw that consciousness I checked, I react to this situation.


    I wake up from that experience intense fear of death. My body is completely fettered, inside the panic, my heart is pounding and I feel drawn into this fear. Forgetting about who am I, there! What is it all an illusion. In meditation, I saw a picture that I run open door, and no way out, another one, another one. Inside the panic, the body is held down, the thought: What do I do? Need to do something? It was only after I saw I myself cherish this panic. Stop. The energy has gone, I felt the strength and confidence. Thanks to this rally, I saw, as I myself do this panic, and took a great gift.


    Going on the highway, the speed is not high, because the ice on the road. Playing music, sunshine, good mood. According to the oncoming lane car rides, see a high speed. Thought: What works. He enters and throws on the opposite, that is, he flies on me. I worked instinct of self-preservation, I am very scared, I clung to the side of the road and feel like I have all shakes with fear. He's just a miracle flies past without hitting me. I sat still for about 30 minutes and breathed, lived, flowing energy. In the evening, while meditating, I realize how good the experience was.


     Today lost in the discipline, I am not in time brought the child to the garden (although the evening making plans). And they went to the thought '' that do not have time '' feelings of worthlessness and
Senselessness. Deeper still, when I saw vospitku, I felt the fear of rejection ... and thought she would think about me bad. And then I went a reaction to J. began a harrowing rush inside. And track how it happened, while I was going, I felt not just life, which goes through the offense A. (because I saw a thought: why I always carry in the morning, and the AA do not need anything, he wants only to sleep). By passing all noticed a weakness in the body ... but I still had to feed and. As a result, the rush, loading the senses, and the sense of injustice and resentment.


     Win. I do not know how I'm doing, but in the situation I was silent and did not interfere, bravely endure, wait. They openly give a kick .... ,, we will not take no head ,, and ,, vaccinations you do not understand you ,, ,, ,, ,, have you can call on a cellular director personally? ,, And I play weak, all I'm prepared to not get into the garden, and once inside the well ,, and. It does not go into the garden today. I agree,,


    
I had to endure this role for 10 minutes as part of the office and the head of all the characters disappeared, Methodist quickly left the office, the doctor is not much stomped their feet, but also give back. She takes us on the same day, no vaccinations themselves, and it is not necessary. All is well. In this season - the main character of rejection, I understood it clearly felt the mind body, and was ready for any magic that was supposed to happen.


    
Scoring: There is no desire ... a sense of apathy, I do not seem to understand me. I have depression: feeling rejected and feel the fear that I may destroy them. Go ... On a subtle level, I also know that we must act, because I want to buy time, to take her husband, and he offers only tomorrow this issue do. I do all the way around their states. At the moment I am afraid that it is not right to make decisions. But trust health and. Thereby trust myself, that decision was made from the heart. And where there is love there is peace of mind.
 
All of the cases have gone done in an instant.


    
Not winning: I play as it occurs in the mind, I feel as if this body clamp. Namely, uterus, bladder, stomach. I am in some sort of thought or actual event occurred, or care for the future ... the imagination. I begin to remember what was going on, and where I am at all, when the body has zoom !!!
    
Lose: lose fear, when not writing in a notebook. I watch: who does not?
    
Thoughts were: ,, how you can write the same feelings, events you have to show the result of so much ,, ,, ,, ,, which has the result ?? ,, ego hurry?!


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