Continued ...

    Losses. I feel shaking in the body, irritation, destructive emotion-anger. I began to scream. I catch myself on this, but the ego resists. The thought that keeps me for a fool. I do not take yourself a fool. And I lose the rally. Yell, throw the phone.

    Mom as always carries nonsense. In another way, I can not say. Flooded heat in the chest, throat. The emotion of anger, a sense of helplessness. I can not explain anything to her, it's like talking to a wall. Fear of old age, death. I am watching the breath. The heat intensifies. Lit all the chest and throat. Lets be a sense of helplessness. Strengthens the feeling of helplessness, presses whiskey. Normal behavior, protect, respond to mum. Try to explain to her, to reduce her suffering, not to cheat from scratch. I look at the situation at the moment. What is now mom writes nonsense. Well, let him write. The fact that she feels, I think out, relying on their sense of helplessness, fear of old age and death. And who am I? Ha ha ha. I let my mother be with her feelings. I watch yourself. Played! Not became involved)))

     She took a new worker in the office. Work can not and does not want to. I am watching your feelings. People are different, it is necessary to enable a person to try. Play))) I teach, show, explain. Results do not see))). Pluck my daughter, she also works for me. Expresses her everything he sees. I have been watching the situation. Just swear, each of their senses. What do I feel? Calm. So, too, maybe I do not need to interfere. Probably, everyone decides at this point the problem. And I'm just watching. The new employee is going and leaves without saying goodbye. And this is also the experience. There was a man and left. There is no resentment, no anger. I am Consciousness, just watch. An experience.)))

    Mom asks to wash curtains. I have before the New Year a lot of work. I feel rolls irritation. I began to watch the breath. I promise to find time. Although I do not know where to get it. I remember that time does not exist. There currently. When I observe at the moment, there is no rush. It does just what it should. And so it turns out that freed a day to clean her mother.
Son plays a lot into the computer. I feel powerless. I start talking to him, he immediately brings a lot of arguments in favor of a computer and games. I can not resist it. I break down and cry. The feeling of powerlessness. Fear for the child, goes into another reality. Fear of loss. Involves both lose.
Win the lottery, then do not get involved, to live feeling that it, skip it. When you let the feeling be not blokiruesh it, it gradually transformed. And there is a new vision of life. It appears ease and the heart filled with love. This is the main gift - love

    Courses in avalanche safety. Teacher tells us how much time people can survive, buried his head in an avalanche. Starts cover. The lack of oxygen, the slow suffocation, breath of death. I feel the fear, the horror. Breathing slows down, quickens the heartbeat, stomach retracts to the spine, and nausea. At this point, I'm not on the course, I was in an avalanche and die slowly. Who am I? What's happening? What will happen then? She came. I am here today is not accidental. These sessions not to feed the fear, but in order to expose him to open up and start to live. Skipping through the fear of the body, the power consumption heat, continue to record a lecture, admitting knowledge of the vacant place of fear.

     Mail. I need to send a registered letter. In front of me some sort of an endless string of people. Takes a turn, wait until tomorrow or look for another post I have neither the time nor the inclination. I feel uncomfortable in the car, waiting for the husband and daughter. Nervous that I can not change anything, somehow everything is accelerated. I can see who is nervous. Only it is useless. There is another solution which is close by. I remember that the machine is prepared for a loaf of birds that we were going to feed on a walk. I called his wife, telling about the place and offer to go with her daughter to the nearby small park, take a walk and feed the birds, while I'm busy. Freed from the post just when the husband and daughter walk up to the park.
"Mom, you know how to wait?" - Before going to bed suddenly asks me a daughter. I? Nuuu like Yes - uncertainly I reply. I do not know what you are able, that you're not waiting for me .. - retorted the child, and recalls the event in the evening, when she was engaged in creativity and braided toy dozen multi-colored ribbons, and I sat and demanded her attention, without noticing it Requests wait a few minutes. I had to admit defeat and to my daughter and to herself) I was in a hurry, hurrying indulging the ego.

     Friday. Make your cafe. The waiter warned that the wait for one of the hottest for about 40 minutes. We agree, hoping this time quietly waiting to eat salads and dumplings to feed the child, which are prepared usually 10 minutes. By the way we went into a cafe to eat it, not just sit and were very hungry. When after 40 minutes we did not bring even a salad, I realized that I was starting to boil. Trying to track the response, expressing dissatisfaction with her husband, sharing with them the emotions. The husband calls the waiter who apologized and said that they Zapara, but salads are ready. It takes about 15 minutes more, and no salads. I'm firmly asleep, lost in the feeling of hunger. I am stopping by running the waiter, reminding him of our order. A minute later bring salads. I brought absolutely not what I expected (ha ha), upset and plunge into the emotions even more. A child at this point completely starved jumping behind me, trying to occupy myself, braiding my hair unprecedented, accompanying the action sharp hair pull is enough. I understand that it has been more than an hour, and normal eating no, a child hungry, and I'm on the peak of emotion. I was bursting anger. And here it's hard to say I lost or won the lottery. I was in the emotions and not understood, but before you respond, I suddenly realized that the need to respond correctly, in this case-confident. Leave everything as it is, I could not have been too strong emotions, and the reaction to the waiter would have no effect. So I went into the room and found the administrator, who expressed his dissatisfaction with service, with an emphasis on dumplings, we are waiting for more than an hour, so I asked the book of complaints. After 5 minutes, we have taken out the entire order. I calmed down, spilling all their emotions. But he pointed out that no one really does not seek to excuse us. This point is in a calm state, I have tracked and obtekla, allowing himself to be thus rejected. Then suddenly the husband again asked the administrator, it turned out he did not bring the vegetables to the hot, he forgot to say that there are no vegetables). The husband was calm and polite. A minute after the administrator has left us an apology from the restaurant to three servings of cake. The child was happy :) and I realized that if they express emotions, then this should be a confident and polite at the same time.

The daughter starts to take off the mask - of irritation, fear for her daughter, the reaction appeared instantly, I began to resent and to make remarks, pulling sharply adjusting the mask, the failure continued. There was a nasty pain in my head and I woke up as soon as switched on the body, the wine went about their deeds grief daughter started to squish and it was obvious she was mad at my abrupt behavior. Embracing her I was ashamed, again on the same rake.

     I could not sleep with worry for her daughter, voicing her husband about his troubled state, he refused and asked me to let him fall asleep, hurt, but I did not continue to impose their concern lived reject asleep. In the morning I woke up earlier than her husband, he went to bed, but when I started to leave the room, he quietly asked him to hide two more blankets on ... mind began to resist because remembered the night rejected the gesture husband, resentment revived realized now, as the mind begins to whine and to persuade all the ways are not harboring husband, I hesitantly reached for the blanket while the mind continued to chatter do not do this, he has rejected you, increased heart rate, I did not seem to notice whispering continued to cover her husband's second blanket, I usually answer the same rejection, slowly but steadily continues to conceal the body flushed from the heat which began to wrap me up and down, the heart opened.

     I thought back home before sunset, Stuck, anxiety, sadness, fear for her daughter's death because already the sun had set and the street -25, I propose to go by taxi, it requested the foot to ride on the hill, covered stupor. I am watching those who are trying to call a taxi and do not want to live the fear of death. I am skipping thought delaying and waiting for the daughter dressed. Out on the street by 10 meters to meet friends in the car. She stopped and dovezla us to slides, were thought to have driven home, not to live unpleasant condition, but the daughter was sitting so happy in anticipation of a miracle slides, because new ledyankah. Daughter of riding on the hill did not even coughed, it was fun, and even on the street became warmer, I thought so. It went a pleasant feeling in the body, in the heart of love and trust.

   I see a lot of jokes, not everyone manages to realize here for example one: Trade neighbor asks me for my phone provider refused, she did not like, and it ceases to communicate with me. I have discomfort in my soul - to be greedy? I do not want to close was the same product? In meditation, you have to look.

   In these cases, I start to feel irritation, anxiety, fear of being late. Play the way I understand it is my fear, I ask myself that the harm in that late, it is the fear of being in an awkward / a helpless situation and condemning the fear of rejection motive. Recognizing the underlying cause of his irritation, I say to myself, "okay, I'll be late perhaps now, it will only be an interesting experience." Irritation passes, but the alarm remains. I observe that the mind is still driving the body to go faster as the body relaxes and the feeling of joy when the time to the bus.
On the morning of hard to get up, I want a nice warm feeling, comfort, sweet slumber, do not want to work, commitment and responsibility. In recent years, often I lose the rally, sleep longer at the expense of the morning meditation.

     At work, when leans several different things, I feel feverish, fidgeting movements, thoughts jump from one thing to another, compactness throat, fever. Fear not catch, can not cope and then condemn me, a motive of rejection. I am watching bodily sensation and conscious fear. The understanding that this is just the usual reaction. After some time passes fussiness, I do things slowly, without haste, and all have time.

   Shopping on the Internet. Here I very much involves and fall asleep. This is akin to the delight of the child that he is interested. In general, I do not blame myself for it, just fix it is a very strong narcotic factor here and that I should try to do it consciously.

     Win - In the morning woke up with anxiety. I track down what has caused? The director does not trust, he asks. It seems nothing but a subtle character. Animates the fear of death, humiliation, poverty. On the morning of this worked, the event from a past life. When the time is up, and I got out of practice, I felt like "home", ie I'm at home. I felt the confidence of the whole, I feel comfortable in this world, I am in the right place. I was just there.
everything changes, it's a game. Just I had this fear, and a minute later everything disappeared somewhere.

     Loss - I had over the weekend, I felt palpitations, anxiety. I watched this condition, but not looked into it in detail, and anxiety continued, intensified, I was afraid not to have time to do their job. At the heart of the fear of death and poverty and this rally I lost.

    Losing - On the notice heaviness in the abdomen, lower abdomen. Please resist this unpleasant sensation, lose, but gradually softened the perception is changing, and I'm starting to feel into that feeling and start to take these feelings (these thus is the fear of humiliation, weakness).

    The win - I wanted to talk with the employee at work, I talk to him, but he went away from dialogue. I felt rejected, I began to accept this reality. But I looked out of the feelings I wanted to talk to. It was a loneliness motive. I saw this when I feel loneliness and a desire to communicate. I was very happy, I started to play with it a sense of loneliness. I accept that this guy does not communicate with me, and communicate with others. I accept my loneliness. And if I have something to give him, I will, as long as there is no real interaction, I'm going your way.

    Winning - The bus, which was a lot of people standing with a little girl's father, he was offered a seat, but he refused, and when the place cleared, I sat down. At this point, the woman sitting behind the beginning to resent. I had a fear of annihilation, at first I was frightened, began to invent protection, then I remembered that it is only fear, I missed it, missed the destruction of the image, just decided to watch and after a while I saw that everything is changing, only that he was fear of annihilation, and now flat state, the universe in motion ...