Diary of the 5th Winter Games remotely. Game 5. Petty tyrants.

Friday 25 September, 2020

I do not know how to think like an inventor. Who is speaking? I just did not try to do it. After all, I can see how it is done by people around me, so that the inventor of the talent I have. There is a chance to try. The inventor, the one who would be able to believe that the most incredible idea, it is his brainchild. Where is my idea? How to find it. And if it is not? So it is, accept yourself without ideological.

Such people are called petty tyrants, but because these small tyrants are rare luck to them can be divided into four categories:

  • The first category includes real small tyrants - the people who will stop at nothing just to annoy you in any way. They are cruel, and capricious, always remaining smart enough to stay within the law, incredibly cunning and disingenuous. This man did not hesitate to go to the rape only to "teach a lesson"; a woman without hesitation literally picks alive with human skin. Quarrels with these people truly pose a threat to life, as they are willing to kill another without hesitation!

  • The second category consists of people who differ little in character from the representatives of the first type, except that they avoid physical violence and instead resorted to various forms of emotional and intellectual violence, which undermines the power of man and break his spirit. This type of tyrants is most common in the workplace; they always manage to evade punishment, instilling mortal terror in his colleagues.

  • The third category covers those who are not petty tyrants constantly, but if something excites their rage, ready to do everything that they can to make the life of the offender in a true disaster. They are not as clever in deceiving justice, as representatives of the first and second groups, and therefore typically resort to the law to deliver the enemy a lot of trouble. Angry, these people suddenly came down on the offender in unpredictable ways, and in those moments when he least expects it. If they begin to retaliate, they immediately give birth to a lawsuit, and when it suits their purposes, are ready to go to the authorities at the slightest provocation. Set the bags of garbage in the yard on the day before the arrival of garbage collectors, and they donesut on this city council. Leave your car only five minutes in front of his house, and they immediately called the Driver's License. These people are most often found among the neighbors, as well as among the relatives, the rejected lover or ex-spouses.

  • The fourth category includes the notorious grumblers. They will always find faults in everything, what others are doing, and their nagging will bring another to complete insanity. They will not have to complain about, but always will come with a variety of complaints. It is necessary to take up the washing machine on a Sunday, and they complain that you prevent them to rest. If you mow the lawn mower gasoline, they have expressed dissatisfaction with the noise and unhealthy exhaust fumes; if the mower is electric, they will certainly be told that we are all responsible for energy savings!

When a student fails to find a small tyrant Explorer necessarily encourage it and offer to consider such a person as the greatest treasure, because, learning Track down petty tyrant, a man learns much better and faster than in its absence.
This is true with respect to all categories of small tyrants, and in particular, to the first and second categories. In the struggle for survival in the attacks of these people, not only students quickly get rid of self-importance, but also claiming the huge amounts of power as increase self-confidence and self-esteem.
However, needless to say that the collision with the petty tyrants of first and second category requires great care, because even the slightest reason may be sufficient that a representative of the first group had killed a man, a petty tyrant of the second type has destroyed his life.

On how the players played in the fifth game, check out this roundup.

  • Today I spent the whole day felt anger, was angry at the world and yourself. At first, I succumbed to the influence of a dwarf and was with the feeling that I have a right to be angry at myself and the world. Then all the same daring and I decided to do the same research that I have done with silence. It helped a lot. He indicated as I consciously go into fear and accept the situation and to pass and how to remain an observer. Today, I repeated the same thing, thinking about her words: you had the opportunity, what you just can not survive lived affective states (emotions), trust this, trust consciousness and go into it, it's such a great opportunity! And I went! Looked this anger in his eyes and saw that the anger arose from the resentment, I resented myself for thinking that he himself without the help of someone not be able to do anything sensible. And then the feeling of abandonment, betrayal. It all came as a strong unit, a feeling that I was holding in depressive bomb grievances accumulated during the 6 years of the 10 people, that's something, but softer. Then, watching the body, being in the moment now, consciousness began to show me those situations and moments, which I hid, tried, run! I looked at each situation in turn, admitting to myself, yes! I did not take it, but it can be like, yes! I did not want to take responsibility for his actions, yes! I wanted more attention, even if expressed as if I can bear the pain of total loneliness and stuff, so I did not learn the lesson, justifying his actions and did not accept this situation, etc. etc. on - quietly the bomb exploded and I felt the heat of hot point, though inside me someone lit a candle. I remembered that silence to say that this is just the beginning of the energy flow and allows all byt.Eto at first it was hard, it is necessary to find more courage to get in and out of the state of self-pity, but it does take quite a few forces. But I could! At first, it was hard on the emotional and physical level but Therefore quietly taking all this, I began to feel at first a subtle sense of tickling, if someone holds a feather in the chest and tickles, then light and subtle feeling of happiness.
  • I noticed in the body of the unit, which showed itself suddenly and began to self-examination, determined the nature of the block and the situation with which he is associated and started to miss, it is evening and I forget exactly what it was, but I remember that this is due to forget .... . I can not remember another time I will write down in advance. But the point is that I caught myself on this, the word is not lived by the opportunity to live the emotional state and missed the energy, being in the moment now, it lasted a few dozen minutes. I went and missed. I remember that I felt the excitement, it was a unit of excitement, fear of the future. When the energy is gone, I was in a state that is not a state, unlike the state, but it's new for me, the state, the unit disappeared and I was calm, my focus on the body and I lose awareness of less and less. He saw the world differently. I do not feel that emotions belong to me, but there are those that I have tried and tried for my own, I've got such an experience, and I can deal with those emotions that I unconsciously believed her. This is probably the disidentification and Rama called more like the experience or erase our past. Well during the day, I discover one block after the other and releases energy, consciousness shows me with some situations it is connected, and I did not resist, I must confess myself and miss. That feeling that arose after the experience of emotions, it is familiar to me, when you are taking, and do not argue. I saw the reality, which occurs when a person is from the mind goes to live in the body. Everything is perfect.

  • Went to the procedure, the snow fell. I feel fear to go, because it is slippery. Fear of the unconscious, the fear of personality, past experiences. I see the image of a small, helpless, she was afraid that might happen -So, what she can not cope. I understand that this is just an image, it's even funny, because I'm not her. I smile, a stubborn ego. Just food. The idea: the husband does not call and do not ask how to get there. Ready to take offense, but remember, I'm a grown woman, I'm not a child, why should he ask. Again the ego tries to get through. It's funny how the image of a non-existent attempts to lead. The need for the victim to attract attention and help.

  • Yesterday was a lecture on the psychology about the ego by Z. Freud, the psychologist told me how the ego is formed in childhood, and draw on the board. Like everything in the theme and about the needs and satisfaction. I just saw that there is no ego, but simply the beliefs and patterns of behavior, how interesting the life of me all the shows.
  • Sitting in meditation and making breathing, I felt the swaying from side to side, felt the excitement, the thought quickly as possible to do the practice, as from what I was swinging, time will be reduced. He tracks down event, a conversation with his son that he would be late, feeling of pressure in the chest, the fear of loss. I remember the mission that the character was alone and did not take the feeling of loneliness, I understand that is the past state of mind, the fear of death. And I know that there is no death. Death - a light junction -Exemption. After practice, I look sms, where was the message that you need to make an effort to then fly. I am Consciousness
  • Manicure, watching the process. Specialist asks how to celebrate New Year, I feel tension in the body and lodge her legs, feel confusion, fear of loneliness, because I was alone, I feel tension in the shoulders, I feel sad. Do breathing, open, put the foot in place, there is always a way out, I watch a movie goes, where it plays Vitsin. A game! I remember a mission, and I say, as much fun as it is now playing Vitsin: - "! With joy and love," I feel relaxed in body, I feel joy. I have consciousness.
  • I came to work, took the key protection. While production got out, apparently the door hit the wall, and then stuck the key. Pulling it back, noticing his bent, I feel guilty. It turns out I bent it, but it did not happen on purpose. Breathe. I feel guilty, in the chest, in the head. I begin to straighten it, but this results in damage to the key. He was almost split into 2 parts, iron was soft. If you still take him, he will fall apart. There is a fear of losing money, weakness. Scared, well, just really. As if this is not a game, I spend analysis, that terrible? I'm weak, lonely I am guilty and deserve death. I was scared for his life, the body was tight, his voice quiet, his head is not felt. I began to blame. I saw that it was a hoax, and he stole not noticeable. I was wondering why the mind takes so tragically, why was the body hard. Why so much fear and suffering? But I awakened through fear, through the body, and felt that this snake wine, which leads away from me pravdy.Zahozhu, meet O.Ona says everything is fine, we have adapted a broken key ... more I need to feel rejected, where the people are I allegedly rejected .... Today they meet me as an angel with a smile and welcome. A game. We need to wake up. Everything worked for me.
  • Once in the car, I understand that I sat down the battery. I usually do not act so quickly, but here, and truth like an arrow, left, quickly I found a man. Brake arose in the form of rejection ... thought ... he does not want to help you ... but was checked and this is true? If he says no ... I'll go look for another ... But he said to help me. And now I was scared, wines that words of gratitude ... it is not enough ... He whispered: you have no right to ask for help again ... mind began to assess the reality. But then extinguished it ... "So nothing more Uncle and not asking for in return. Trust the process. "
  •    I am aware of their sense of meaningless of course it needs to work out. I still worked defense, I did not go into it totally. This, too, seemed meaningless. I lost.
  •   Practice has shown that I merged with the body, identify. And when I realized that I am not the body, it immediately came to mind. I looked at the money, and attitude to money has changed, she stopped playing so important for me.
    During the day, I try not to blame, stop the condemnation. From what began to stop his conviction, the mind becomes clearer, easier to realize! :) The girl starts to complain, I let her complain, but do not support the conversation. It was realized the whole day, feeling that time raced quickly, but I did not feel the time was in the moment.
    It turned out to live a state of meaninglessness. Sensations in the body decreased, became calmer. I began to realize that this is not just a sore lower back, and that through this weakness I live my feelings. And then on the sat, worked, and thus missed followed by meaninglessness.
  • During the day - incredible weakness and sadness. I understand that in a depression. Sleep.
  •     After a walk with her daughter, asking her husband, who had just woken up and was full of energy to play with my daughter, so I could sleep for 30 minutes (I wanted to get into the practice). My husband said that I went to bed with her daughter. Based on its pitch, in other words, he wants to engage it. And suddenly pricked to Anahata strongly, penetrating pain, I hid face in his hands, as he does my daughter, and buried in the sofa, burst into tears. There was no power to restrain any rise. My daughter, after seeing this performance, she burst into tears. They embraced, weeping. Seeing himself in the face of her daughter, she woke up. Tears (sorry for myself) stopped. I felt better, the pain went away and came to power. How sweet, I felt sorry for myself! We went to play with her in the bath. This rally clearly showed me that all the Game of Life, the characters - this is my reflection, and we are all actors).
  •     I did not expect to meet with such force resistance. Villages in practice. 30 minutes later I emerges from sleep to breath, force dwarf persuasion, I want to sleep I was strong. Then I decided to change tactics: OK, I'll sleep: and the other 30 minutes. I could not go to sleep (ie sleep does not physically like), and swam in the thoughts and returning to the breath. The experience is interesting because it felt the: falling asleep (and thought) a very powerful weapon dwarf, which is difficult to distinguish from a physical need for sleep.
  •     Strong resistance to the loss of love (I'm going to wean her daughter to fall asleep with the breast). I clung to the feeling of love, as if drowning and tried to stay on the surface ... I realized that I should voluntarily lost love (this intimacy). Pain in the spleen became piercing. I began to live this loss. Consciousness gave me the memory of sensations of loneliness, heartache 3 months of the child, no longer receives the chest. On this basis, I then began to think that his mother ceased to love me (which is certainly not the case). I was in the baby's pain, pain in the spleen is not reduced to 2b. And then came the revelation: When the hold of whatever was love, afraid to lose it - lose it. Because Love turns to separation. What Love must flow, then you will abide in it forever. Send internal relaxation - releasing daughter. My love is now transformed into a new form of interaction with it. Feeling that pried open from the inside face (just smoothed from the center of the depth), spread the heat, the pain was gone, he warmed from the inside right lymph under the ear. Peace, love for the body. Love of the Game.
  •     Setting read for the second time, is not very clear. Dwarf chuckles, does not want to take anything new, perhaps, is blocking perception, fear change, and suddenly something goes wrong ?? ... I take a decision to do so, how to understand and how it goes. I start to walk, meditate, interesting sensations, never noticed - when setting foot on the momentum of the body runs right up to the ears, and lifting legs completely different feeling and felt weaker play!
  • Meditation increasingly slow down my life. So it should be. I have time for a day as much time to just live in the "now," and that tomorrow ?? ... Playing!
  •    Today the word hoax, again about a slowdown. I was standing in line in front of me 4 person normally. It fits my turn - the seller the phone rings, she picks up the phone and talking !! Ha-ha! Differently and could not be !!! After all, I'm in a hurry !!! Worried abandonment, loneliness, etc., The game !!
  •     The habits that need to change: stop gushing emotions, condemn and discuss the people, the right to consider themselves the main thing - remember!
  •     Calls mother to work. Her aggressive tantrums knock me out of awareness. My mind is lost, it is not present to hear nothing and see. When I woke up, protection and resistance enabled by inertia. A few minutes later I realize what is happening. I turn the conversation and promised her to understand her problems. Mom - a symbol of the fear of death, but it is not to blame, it's me it brought up. I reside.
  •     She came to work the commission of M. Just a lot of questions, problems. I became nervous, began to fuss, lost awareness. Fear of rejection and death. A few minutes later woke up, I remembered who I was. It has become easy and consciously solve problems. Although the excitement for the result of experience. They did everything they could. Now I accept any outcome.
  •     The daughter health problems and childbirth. I feel the fear of abandonment and the loss of it. Nervousness, chest pain. But I look, it excites me more than her and her husband. This is for me a big problem than for them. How stupid. I try to give it to his fate, let pass your way. I have my own problems. In fact, I do not know anything about the problems her daughter in this life, and undertake to decide what is best for her.
  •    Aggravated allergies. The response to all cosmetics. I work with the fear of death. The trend, "habit" to be afraid of. In the body of the unit, which is constantly felt, it is the usual response in certain circumstances. These are added to the images of past lives when death was accompanied by severe physical tortures. Consciously and I live quietly. Now I can do it. I take full responsibility for the results of their ignorance, poverty, and just their destiny. I accept with love and gratitude.
  • During the commission's work is one of his colleagues began to dispute their claims and defend their opinions. I was angry at him, felt the injustice. What is he doing, he defends his opinion even at the cost of plant closures and job losses. Then I saw that doing so often myself. Most do not take the simplest things and argue with God, even at the cost of their health and life. And he tries to reason with me. I -Soznanie watching this theater of the absurd.
  • I received a letter from the Sangha, which has played the wrong game. Key words were- "In fact ... In fact ... 'The default behavior: I would be very upset. be tripped strah- rejected strah- be stupid, stupid. Strah- odinochestvo.Nestandartnoe behavior. WOW!!! Blimey!!! He laughed and said to himself: "Errors have to do in order to become more mindfulness!"
  • Today I used to bury ya very much been implicated, I was afraid to look at the dead man, and the more his behavior trogat.Nestandartnoe: Was in the moment now, razotozhdestvlyalas, watched the process. I saw what kind of experience needed this character, listening to how ya talking about how she bravely endured illness and did not allow himself to be a victim. And until recently it was held, attended, cooked, although the forces are not bylo.Ona zodiac sign Leo, listening to her mother and remembering her. Yes, she was very strong by nature, with a strong character. In the family, she was the principal. Despite her illness (cancer), she never showed the form that it is serious bolna.Kogda body was brought to the house and the people began to say goodbye, I felt sadness, tears flowed and I was allowed to have these feelings. Watch the girls, who were left without mothers, they wept sore. It was their experience, souls have to live this event and feel.
  • In the morning I woke up with a sense of anxiety
    bodily feeling Weakness in the body, heaviness in the shoulders
    Emotion: Fear
    Thought: What - what happens
    Feeling: impotence, weakness
    social fear: injustice
    Ekzis. Fear of death
    The recapitulation of life stories: I see a picture: a child without permission, we ran into the forest. Parents are scared of us that walk in the woods uncles with big bags and steal children. And when we saw the uncle with a bag. I experienced such fear, my body is held down. From fear, I could not move. I felt terrible fear and bessilie.Razotozhdestvlyayus, watch, let it be fear, chuvstvu- impotence and weakness. The energy has gone, fever appeared in the body. I see that this experience is necessary character, to feel weakness and impotence. I saw how the character himself startled, came up with this fear. Consciousness with such love creates all the events for my character. I accept with love the experience.
  • By studying the character and personality of types of characters, I remember friends, relatives. One begins to understand more deeply their essence, their behavior. And there is a deep understanding of why they are so themselves. And comes acceptance. God created us all exactly as we are, completely different. It's so interesting to see the characters and their manifestations.
  •    I sit in the theater with his son sitting next to a man and loudly condemn those who came with cola and popcorn. I feel shame and excuses to myself that I was just a little water, "Thank God"))). Track left on the evening practice ... in the body of discomfort, I want to hide under the seat, and nausea. The sense of shame, rejected and lonely. Protection: an excuse. Thoughts: condemn, I am just like everyone come to eat in the movie. I'm not an exception. Reinforces the condition laid ears. I, like all, flowed under the seat of shame, the image blur flowing. I am watching the breath. Most key, I like all. I allow themselves to be like everyone else. Understanding: yes I like all. I am a man with his weaknesses and his strength. The mind tries to insert 5 cents: time taken to sell the stake in the cinema and the corn, then it is not a shame. And itself inhibits not rationalized. Ha ha. And suddenly, like a light bulb lit in my chest love! Thanks to the man, thanks to the popcorn eaters that came the realization.
  •     And so it was. The total lack of shame and morality, and confidence in the impunity, jealousy. Now the tears of repentance. Lord, forgive me for my ignorance and error! Now ashamed of his behavior is. This was a complete self-righteousness at all, and the importance. Ego in general flourished !!! I even beat I.i then proudly told her friends about it. It was such a powerful protection, to show their power over him. These corners of the soul I have not dug. And how painful that tears of pain throughout the body. This rejection, betrayal and loneliness. Many tears spilled ... Very far ego hid the memory because it is very painful. ... Watch the breathing, the heart filled with love and gratitude I. It is for all these years, no matter what side.
  •    Neighbors swore night. At each of the hassle I was beginning to ache fracture place and then the stomach ache. The mind now from accommodation wants to divert the argument about them. I brake it. I got into practice straight night. The feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, fear of death. I remember as a child my mother threw themselves at his father, who came drunk. And communicate it to others collapse. They began to fight. I could walk at this time. And if you saw that his father drank, then he ran home to just steer and defuse the situation. The same sense of hopelessness and powerlessness, meaninglessness. I can not solve anything, but I know I can. The ego knows. And therefore I run between them: my mother asking to keep silent, the father calms down, to not pay attention to her. How painful and frightening. Scary, that will not have time to calm them down, and a scandal, and a fight with the smashing of crockery. Skipping a feeling of helplessness, the pain in his hand intensified sharply there is a pain in the temple, like a nail hammered. I am watching the breath and see the center of the pain. He leaves abruptly as it had come. As if we pulled out the nail. There is not even a residual pain. From fatigue and falling asleep.
  •     I continue to work on the night incident. I can not do anything. But the mind believes what I can do something. From impotence again shed tears. The same sense of hopelessness, meaninglessness. It's a pity the father, with a huge potential business, he could not realize it at the time. And his rationalization proposals advanced only when it is shared with the authorities. This of course I later realized years 10. When he began to tell me that came up, and how to save a lot of money. Interesting decision, a lot of practice. Tears of pity for her father, left early, and did not realize. (This is of course my mind thinks, so my mother thought. In fact, maybe he was glad that it was. It was his realization of creativity) Exactly at that time I was born grudge against God. No acceptance of reality. It should not be. I took responsibility for the relationship between parents. I judged them. He accuses mom, sorry dad. Tears. Lump in the throat. Little girl with a huge strength and confidence that can solve everything and razrulit. I weep and repent ... comes relief and calm mind.
  • I do not know how to think like an inventor. Who is speaking? I just did not try to do it. After all, I can see how it is done by people around me, so that the inventor of the talent I have. There is a chance to try. The inventor, the one who would be able to believe that the most incredible idea, it is his brainchild. Where is my idea? How to find it. And if it is not? So it is, accept yourself without ideological.
  • New game, new job, confusion, panic, "I did not get" everything is meaningless, my dwarf trying to intimidate me. I did not even realize what the present, I want to. Traced pattern. response template for a new job. And here again, the dwarf, "you do not get." The fear of punishment, Rama exclude me for my stupidity, track bound to the result. The tension in the solar plexus, "From me all gone," the fear of loss, abandonment. What can I lose? I am the soul of gaining experience. This is a game I have to play it, it's just life. Calmly and curious what lies ahead. I understand that the work plan of the business I proindulgirovala in the second game.
  • In the morning, I loved all over the world. And there was a hoax, the light faded and only the pain of suffering. I am an outcast, I was dismissed, rejected, all meaningless. I am a stupid idiot, then pity, then anger, such anger is good, more like a commitment. Well I'm a fool to the point that I can not create anything, agressiruyu, I want to send all and Ramah also (again arguing with God) sleep, and understand all feel, and therefore do not fall asleep. I saw how persistently indulged themselves, Sacrifice, I want to do everything. Horseradish, life has shown fig, make a choice. This already was when I had to take English, not prepared, maybe blow over. Kicked in disgrace. Paul taught, the repeater, the exam passed with the move, easily surprised everyone and especially the teacher, laughed, which was blazhenstvo.Eto game! Excellent Pendel. I had a determination to overcome the resistance of your own. He earned head. I realize that a failure, forgetting to act.
  • In breast pleasant thrill. A pleasant weariness in his eyes. Satisfaction passing day .. 2/3 of its weekend I dedicated creation, formed the image of a small. I read books, scribbled announcements. Moreover, economic affairs have become, as it were, by themselves, without any effort. When will I experienced such a feeling. When finished school, I had the same sense of awe, excitement and endless possibilities. Reckless; any business on the shoulder. He remembered a proposal to conduct public school head of department at the university. Experience in public speaking, it is necessary to consider whether this is a true desire.
  • I leave from work and head to stop to go home as the zaskreblo chest, what kind of a sign? I almost forgot to go to ask about surrendering premises. Dwarf slightly moaned, "it is necessary to you." "You must Fedya, you must". Very interesting information learned folded picture of what I want. What is my game? Do not miss the mark, I moved the assemblage point.
  •    Of tension in the solar plexus, anger. "No one will read my thoughts." Out Diary, players played the 4th game, and I have not reported for the third, exclusion, meaninglessness. This is important, it is the ego. And for me as a soul experience. Consciousness is pushing - the game, accept yourself, accept the reality.
    Tension in the left shoulder, sadness "why it happened to me", powerlessness, exclusion, meaninglessness. I bet with God, the idea that if Consciousness decided to relive the experience through me, then survive, so it is necessary, the resistance is pointless. Tears consent, putting streaming down her cheeks, in the soul of peace, it is time to act.

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