• My daughter called nonsense nonsense, since it is considered that it is important to deal with children or preparing food, because I came to help. I flared up and said that you allow yourself, I do not dictate to you and do not climb into your activities. What does this show me Consciousness? I'm not comfortable, I do not want to do anything more to hurt myself, I feel the fear of injustice, I've tried so hard all this time. All the work was undertaken to get approval and gratitude. And now I'm not happy that I'm wasting time on bullshit. I forgot about the game, I identified myself, I began to suffer from habit. Well, in general, automatism, the victim again. I have not received love.
• The girlfriend called. Listen seemed conscious. They began to gossip and the senses absorbed my attention, did not notice in the end how I got carried away by the outside. After the conversation, she returned to herself, smiled and said how cleverly the Consciousness lulled me. And this is the old habits. To get involved in the outside and give him grades. The tendency of the mind is to divert attention to the transitory.
• In the evening there was a scene where I behaved disharmoniously, gently said. There was a quarrel with her daughter. Quarreling with me, my daughter began to punish my granddaughter. I forgot everything in the world. Feelings of anger seized me. A little later, looking from the side, I saw so many gaming moments where it was possible to smooth the situation, but I was carried, and I brought it to the heat. Well and so happens. I also think the opinion of others about myself is so important, and I was led. Then I felt bad, but I did not blame myself, at that moment I could not be aware. And the feelings of bitterness were later, as my loved ones say, what's the use of your teaching. Still what, it is not mistaken, the one who does not study. And there will still be losses. And what about without them.
• Suddenly, it was realized that a quarrel was not always a bad thing. You can not be sitting on your head. I repent, but I do not blame myself. And mentally I apologize to my relatives and I thank the Consciousness for this experience. This is a game, it is not good and not bad. And understanding comes, I'm not feeling. Feelings are on their own, and I watch them. They are good and bad. They just are. Now the joy of this understanding. Quarrels will be still, but I will play them not unconsciously. Evening meditation - 34 min. Transformation of pain in the heart was carried out with the help of breathing, and then with the help of an inner smile. Smiling.
• The son comes to help my father repair the car, in his animated conversation, I understand that he is not just a hangover, but he was already drunk, squeezing in his chest, sadness, the desire to change his son, the thought "he is ruining himself," the fear of loss is associated with abandonment, meaninglessness. I observe sadness, I understand that I can not change it, it squeezes the frontal part of the head, my sorrow changes to anger, the desire to fight, it is pointless to fight at the moment. I watch, I take the son of an alcoholic, the first can not withstand the husband, he knows how to express his anger, sends his son to sleep off. The son utters, to us what we are "good", going and going. I let him go, sadness expressed by squeezing in the chest, watching the sadness, my son and I keep quiet, let everything happen, for me in this draw the game, this technique of not doing, watching, not interfering.
• The son comes to help my father repair the car, in his animated conversation, I understand that he is not just a hangover, but he was already drunk, squeezing in his chest, sadness, the desire to change his son, the thought "he is ruining himself," the fear of loss is associated with abandonment, meaninglessness. I observe sadness, I understand that I can not change it, it squeezes the frontal part of the head, my sorrow changes to anger, the desire to fight, it is pointless to fight at the moment. I watch, I take the son of an alcoholic, the first can not withstand the husband, he knows how to express his anger, sends his son to sleep off. The son utters, to us what we are "good", going and going. I let him go, sadness expressed by squeezing in the chest, watching the sadness, my son and I keep quiet, let everything happen, for me in this draw the game, this technique of not doing, watching, not interfering.
• I observe tension in my head, fear-desire to retreat, behind which there is abandonment, the thought "my son is an alcoholic" because of fear of abandonment I wear a mask that understands, forgiving, just to not lose it. I crowd out the expression of anger into his shadow by his behavior, and the very thought "my son is an alcoholic." When it began, I am 10-11 years old, my parents have not parted yet, I often leave with my middle brother, and he immediately got drunk as soon as his parents left. I was hiding so that I did not "fly in". In the morning, when he was ill, I felt sorry for him, I no longer perceive him as an alcoholic (repression), and I do not have anything to tell my parents. Somehow it turns out that if I tell my parents I will be bad, they will punish me, not him, I will lose their love, they will reject me, and I will betray him. And so, not to feel betrayal and rejection, I drove them into the shade, I wore a mask that understood and forgiving. I tell my parents, I see a crying mother, an upset father and feel the strength of my mother's acceptance, she knew everything. Living this episode, I felt strength. I return to my son, frankly acknowledge him as an alcoholic, accept loss and become abandoned, transform, release him into my adult life, tear as a sucker. The mask is removed, the feeling is lived, relief, calmness.
• I observe the heaviness on my left shoulder, the sadness of wanting to change the course of life, the thought of "how fast life is running, living it is meaningless." I observe sadness, remembering the task of the game, repression. And suddenly, as if scalded, the memory of your own stupidity, from which you want to get up and run away, here it is repression! My stupidity was not to trust the little mother - in - law, because of my fear of loss, she was offended, and I rejoiced, because I felt from her not accepting myself, rejection, and this was compensation, and revenge is easier. As now it is a shame, for the act, what I was stupid. I accept myself stupid, sincerely repent before my mother-in-law, live rejection, transform. I was firmly identified with the mind, I slept. My mother-in-law is still in the body, now we are close, we need to ask her forgiveness.
• I observe tension in the frontal part of the head from the right, fear - desire to retreat, the thought "can not go anywhere", pity, laziness. I gathered in the morning in the pool, there are few people, and cheerfulness for the whole day. I supersede the true desire to swim, regarded by my husband, as pampering, when at home so many cases, covering up with "economic". The motive of abandonment, I need to leave the house, the fear of freedom. The technique of not-doing is to take yourself out of bed and go. The body became warm, there was liveliness, joy and a desire to live.
• Today is the last day, the morning is sadness, sadness, weakness, not perfect this incarnation, mistakes ... Stop, whiner joined, that's how he imperceptibly appears through the feeling of fear in the body, where everything is aggravated. Sobering is going on, allowing the dual manifestations of my imperfect character, and who demands and who requires to be always on the level. Haha! Emptiness plays with emptiness. All, there is acceptance. At work, the reception, saturated takes place on the wave of complement on the part of clients, because the energy of lightness, love, Unity goes.                                                                                                                         It is important not to expect relief, to catch who wants this state, when it covers with a veil of identification with the illusion of this dual world, and again and again start again, Play, accumulating personal power.                        Переводчик Google для бизнеса –Инструменты переводчикаПереводчик сай
• Not merged with the concepts of the mind, missed the manifestations of Consciousness in its natural flow, where there is no loss, where there is no need to control the process
• - I continue to learn to take the dark sides of the soul, as a dual manifestation of this illusory world, uniting into single whole Existence
• - Has learned to realize, when there is an identification with the character, with feelings, with concepts, events and when - identification with itself
• - still need to learn more openness of life, do not control, because everywhere the fear of death is displayed, letting go of a natural sense of fear, rejecting all false identifications with imperfection of the external world, the character (shame, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, loneliness ...) and affirm in the present moment of manifestation of natural fear, being identified with the void vibration of the Self-the message-to the son-not to experience the bitterness of loss, because he can always be aware of the presence of warmth, caring, support, I eat moment of being. This embodiment was more awareness, tolerance and compassion, gratitude to this journey ... but there was also an identification with the character and involvement of guilt, resentment, pity in destructive emotions.
• Through the annoyed neighbor, the Games are realized, as the Consciousness, identified with the character, wants to engage in the negative of its useless fuss, anger is manifested in its simple natural expression without stamps of limited beliefs. A feeling of compassion has come and gently embracing her shoulders, dissolving in Unity, love, acceptance ...
• I left in the morning to go to the pharmacy and a little on business. I got involved in the conversation by phone, drove to the red light. Patrol with flashing lights stopped, discharged a fine. I'm calm, Consciousness shows that we need to keep the ears on top of the head, do not fall asleep. Gratitude fills me. I love everyone!
• In the evening I felt a sense of helplessness. Traced boredom. Fear of loneliness. Persuasion: One must be constantly on the move, not to be rejected and lonely. Everything is compressed in the chest and stomach. I skip, watch, trust. I trust Life, if this helplessness is given now, then it is necessary to simply accept and live it. What now? Now there is interest in what's next. Not doing: I realize that this is fatigue after the operation, and I allow myself to rest.
• But the crept feeling of boredom in the evening, remains and scraping in the chest. Feeling of loneliness. The ego is waiting for correspondence with A., I live abandonment. There comes a feeling of nausea, I start to watch the breath. There is a ringing in the ears, dizziness. I continue to reinforce the picture. The ego came up with the plot and does not want to back away from it. Burning sensation in the chest. Belief: if a man supports communication, then he is interested in a woman, then relations should develop, and not stand still. If they do not develop, then I do not need him. Everything repeats itself, as with Ch. Only everything is very fast. I watch the breath. And is it so? Do relations really have to develop? No. This is just my illusion. Everything is an illusion, just as Ch. Was my illusion, so A. can become it. And this is only my whole reflection, the state of my mind. I let go of the future. I live in the present. My heart is filled with loving kindness and wishing them both well-being and freedom. When awareness and release occurs, there is lightness and playfulness. And right here and now I'm happy and easy !!!
• I pierced the wheel. Fun! Consciousness constantly wakes me up, as I get involved in correspondence with A. and the Ego starts to think out how to behave and how it is not necessary, the controller turns on. And who knows how it is necessary? Consciousness returns in here and now. Thank you! The mood is positive. (and all by the fact that the ego receives a portion of external attention, and you want to show the language!
• I continue to observe the magical effect of meditation. The whole world is changing around: it becomes warm and light. I understand that this is my light. I. at work said that he would leave after NG. We must again look for a worker, but I let him go with an easy heart. And let him have it all. And Life prepares for me something new, new, warm.
• I got up later than usual. The thought went on condemning oneself, such. I always have to be "right". Stop! Who is this "wrong"? Today my body needed more rest.
• It is necessary to make a haircut. Thoughts - why should you cut your hair - you still sit at home, a pensioner - go like this. No - the kind of some untidy, hair sticking out in different directions. Let's make a haircut in the city with the Chinese! And then sorry for the money. Near the house there is a salon - a hairdresser, so there are several times more expensive than the Chinese cut. I realize that I'm involved. Fear of loss. Who is afraid that money is not enough, you need to save? Live now, rejoice! Who am I? I went to the salon. The master is wonderful! She conjured me around my head like a sorceress. I left - the QUEEN! I and the master were very satisfied! Is it necessary for joy? Nothing at all! When everything is done with love!
• I went to the city. I went to the supermarket. Well done! Everything is beautifully decorated, the atmosphere of the holiday is ready by the New Year. Children meet the animators. Bribed products. I feel - like shopping is not so much, but rather heavy. In a past life, it would have been like that without admitting that it was hard. I'm strong! And now - I'm new all! Weak. I call my husband to meet. I say I was loaded with something like a doll! Says - are you sick? No! I recovered!
• I went in fear to hear - no. Get a refusal. I decided to call a friend and ask to take me to N. - the bus does not have time for the time I need. To which he says that he can not, because he is transporting things to a new house and has already invited a loader crew. And I would have gone along this route with pleasure, especially with me. Haha! In the body - calm. Passed the experience - no one rejects, does not betray. I accept, all as is. No, I'm not. It's very interesting to go in fear of asking for help. It's not at all scary to be weak! Just a trip!
• As often happens, the event did not come, but I already planned everything - it will happen like this, I decided everything - I'll do it like that, I know what I'll say. How do I know? Everything will happen, as it happens - and there is nothing to plan. The future is an illusion. All Consciousness will act as it pleases. And all your grandiose plans are just an empty thought, a waste of time. Who is involved? Who is the doer? There is no doer.Practice. Compression in my head. My head hurts. Noise in the ears is stronger. Event - the guests will come two sisters. Fear of conflict. Weakness - I can not prove anything. Fear of hearing criticism. Injustice. The rejection. Loneliness. I went into fear. Let V. Talk, quarrel, condemn, spoil the mood. A symbol is a malicious face, a displeased look. Accept this experience. Yes, V. Maybe such - unfriendly, spiteful. Who's afraid? Yes, there are good people and evil people, dissatisfied with everything. I'm ready to hear everyone. Who am I? Once identified. In the body - lightness, noise in the head decreased.
• The tutor called, says that the local pediatrician needs tests. We recently passed them and all the results in the map of the garden, and copies of this pediatrician. I can see how a wave of indignation and resentment covers. I understand that the caretaker has nothing to do with it, yet I explain to her emotionally that this is not my problem (let the pediatrician seeks). In the last three seconds I turn on, I see that I'm hooked again. I notice the emotion of anger. Head face localization. A sense of humiliation. Thought: because of my careless attitude, I worry for nothing. " The victim's position is accusation, resentment, discontent. Recap: failure. Weakness. An adult woman has the power of a power, I do not have a baby. I have to submit to resistance, but I do not want to obey these requirements. Feeling of humiliation Weakness. Desire to resist, shout, beat, fight, call out. Belief: those who have some kind of power, and I have to obey. I let everything be as it goes. I live energy in the body, it flows. Again the mind painted horrors. The last mission session also highlighted this problem. The mission is to accept everything as it is, to let go, not to become attached. Compassion for these women, who also obey the system, higher organizations (pediatrician). We are all humans. All is well, everything is calm. You can communicate with love in a human way. It is easy to solve the issues that arise. In the body, softness, relaxation (like after a bath).
• I spend children's health classes with children. Have brought a new child, who has quarreled and does not want to be engaged. I see that he distracts the children, I feel irritated. Mom, he persuades him in every way, but he does not react. I come up and invite him to work with us, but he does not seem to hear, turns away and continues to tiptoe. I understand that this is me, the thought comes, the game. And then I tell the children, and now we will play an interesting game and easily suggest a new child. Here he started, let's play and then he quickly ran up and started playing with us. Here, as the game is shown, it is important to agree and accept yourself that everything is a game and not to be taken seriously, but to be the game itself. After all, children are subtle guides of the game and now there is a magic word Game, not only in class, but also in Life. Live Playfully!
• In the children's center, where I work part-time, I conduct an individual children's lesson. By agreement, I deal with children 50/50% if I am sent. For some time they did not go to classes and I had to agree with them and make an appointment. During classes, having tracked a sense of injustice, a thought, they use me, I have to go and say that they themselves solve these issues or then we will work 40/60%. Having seen the victim and having missed the sense of injustice, having accepted the situation and having adjusted for the moment here and now. I went to the head and said calmly. For me it was an interesting experience, as I talked calmly, nothing clung to anything inside. The leader blushed, began to talk about principles and on some other topics. I saw how it happened, as if from outside and I was not scared, as before. I was interested to watch, because I saw myself in it. Thanks to inner calmness and practice, I felt the moment of the present, to be and watch and this is a wonderful experience, thanks to which I felt myself.
• In the evening I called to sign up for the trip, I said that if I did not have time, I probably need to get to A., the driver at first said that he was going through A., and he was traveling on another road, felt confused, but immediately and I said that I'll pay you, as before. The driver agreed. We left early in 4 hours and now a new experience, lost in time, or rather in my mind, I felt and felt how the mind gets confused when I'm in a drowsy state. As they say, I look in the book, and I see a figure, and so I looked at the scoreboard with time in the car and saw 7 hours, although it was 6 o'clock. It seemed to me that it was already approaching seven and I would not be in time. This is how I fell asleep, although it seemed to me that I had not slept. The ejection occurred when the driver asked how best to go, NOW for 6 hours and only, then I woke up. Exactly on the scoreboard was 6 hours, inside I smiled and clearly saw the rally of Consciousness. She calmly reached Vladivostok and thanked the driver, although he did not know what had happened to me.
• During dinner he called O., said that now he would call to go for water. I was confused, because I was not picked up after the trip, I was tracked by the fear of loss, that it's terrible that I will lose my image? What will happen? I accept myself as I am and I agree that he should stop by. When he stopped by, I see that I have not gathered yet and I understand that I'm not at all made-up and somehow sleepy, I take this image and relax. There was a surprise when he said that I looked good. The assembly point shifted and I realized that the state gives acceptance to itself. Everything just happens when you just have.
• I went home, there was a deathly silence. Everyone is sitting at their computers, no one even noticed how I came home. Consciousness, shows the Robotism of my household, thus reminding me of the Game ... I went into the kitchen, my daughter-in-law baked a pie, put some tea, covered the table, cut the cake. I think ... how to play ... I have two phones, I call my husband and son, I tell them: Let's go and have tea ... They laughed and everyone came to the kitchen ...
• Today it was snowing all day and by evening it was already decent. I still had things to finish today. She looked out the window, and there was such beauty, so much snow, she opened the window, it was warm. It is necessary to get out of the template.))) I suggested my go for a walk on the street, there is so much snow, but somehow they did not react very much and continued to sit at their computers ... Ok! This is your reality ... - I, went to walk and began to gather for a walk. Husband, looked and said: I will also go and dress. She left the room E., as a result, we all went outside. In the street there was beauty, very warm and white white. There was a feeling that the whole area went out into the street. We blinded the snowman, played snowballs and lay in the snow ... THERE IS ONLY THE MOMENT WHICH IS ONLY NOW, AND IT CAN BE LIVING AS A ROBOT NOT UNDERSTANDING ANYTHING, AND IT CAN BE INTO CONSCIOUSNESS AND MAKE THE MOMENT NOW. YAHOO! THE GAME CONTINUES!!!
• The game, sparking excitement. Waking up every morning, my character asks himself a question, you can spend the day on a pattern like ROBOT, but you can live this day, CREATE it in the Moment Now, living every moment and moment. A week ago, the character just brushed his teeth and washed himself-aware. And now it's not just Awareness, but also playful and finding different differences. (One morning, brushing my teeth, I felt all the teeth and made a massage, aware of every movement and feeling.) Another morning, I washed my hair ...)), every time finding something new and interesting in this process.
• In the afternoon the teacher of the eldest son called. In the stomach everything shrank with fear: suddenly something had done. The mind draws terrible pictures. I'm not afraid for him, but for being bad in someone's eyes. My son is what he is, and I am what I am. Consciousness plays. I breathe, I squeeze the phone. She asked to buy pens for children and bring a photocopy of the passport. Ha ha ha.
• At work I had to perform small and tedious work without gloves in the cold. It's very cold, and sometimes you have to double-check the work. In the stomach irritation grows. It is gray and prickly. I can not change anything. I can only accept this reality and surrender to it. There is power here.
• It's a game. It became easier. And I decided to replay this story. Presented herself in the womb and began to observe. I've heard all the nasty things my mother told me about that happened during pregnancy. I accepted this, I accepted that this is the relationship of the parents, and I am only a child here. I can not change anything. The birth began. I moved along the paths and noticed that I was either immobilized or trying to break through. There was tension in the body, fear. I stopped and trusted the process. And with wave-like movements, the body of the mother pushes me out during the attempts. I just felt the movement and followed him.
• The eldest son asked to buy a shirt and went to the mall, where he had to wait for me at the entrance. I drove up, went in - it's not there. I went to the next shopping center - no, I came back - no, I called - "the subscriber is not available". I feel anger rising. Stop. It's a game. Consciousness plays with me. I climbed to the second floor - no, the third - no. I went down to the second and found it. If I had not noticed the Game of Consciousness, I would have started to resent, pronounce, etc. as before. And here, after the realization of the Game, peace gradually returned.
• I'm driving in the car, I have a fear of getting into an accident (death), I block this fear, squeeze out of my stomach, began to meditate, analyze my condition on the road, and I have a problem with the uterus, it is constantly tested, so you can earn a deadly disease. It turns out, not missing the fear of death, I slowly approach death myself. This analysis helped to let go of the body, and I began to let pass the energy of fear.
• Has come on a visit to a classmate, her husband also wants to talk with us, but she drives him away (in another way you will not name it), although it's also interesting for me to talk to everyone together. I see in this disrespect for him, maybe to some extent I see myself, I understand that I need to accept this and then adjust it. Well, her husband, apparently, deserves such an attitude. They need it. Then, after all, I was also interested in talking to him, I went into it. I see that my friend is being loaded, I feel guilty, but I allowed myself to manifest myself. I was satisfied with the communication, I felt the exchange of energy. But with the girlfriend energy was slowed down, it was difficult for me to communicate. Here so too can be.
• During the shooting, music sounds and I can not hear. I realize that I block loudly to say, do not allow, it sounds ugly in my understanding (in the understanding of my mind), the mind approves a gentle voice, but conditions require another. And I allowed to speak in such an unpleasant tone, I accept this tone. And my throat stopped hurting, probably, because I stopped squeezing it.
• I'm going on a new route for me on the navigator, for some reason, the navigator did not correctly orient me, I had to take it to the right, he pointed to the left, I passed the denouement for a turn, now I had to find a turn in the opposite direction. Here comes spontaneity, the game. I call in at the denouement, where there is not supposed to be a turn, but there were no cars, and I was right where I could turn to the oncoming lane. Approaching the destination, the organizer calls and says that we agreed to start shooting half an hour later, I laugh at myself.
•  In the afternoon I wanted to go with my daughter to the mountain. The dwarf was against it. But who is listening? Come on. SILENCE! The place of the spiral is generally permeated with silence. Well walked with her daughter. Satisfaction, I admire the beauty of the world.
• What is the result of this incarnation?
• She took pain and began to see the beauty of the world brightly. I'm looking mostly at the sky, not at my feet, as before.
• I'm studying fatigue. A heavy, but smeared layer on the Heart and in the chest, making you squeeze into a ball: the tension of the shoulders, neck, back and chest, abdomen, pelvis. M: you're tired of living. Creep enough voluminous essence. Then believe after this thought. Fear of being just. Freedom? I fill the clamped area of ​​the body with Ilahinur. I see a lot of dark threads in the body: these are blocks. And how many more of them! Deep in fatigue - the pain of regret and fears of loss, I do not they: I really do not need to seek love anymore, I am the source of love. How can you take away what I am? A sweating, as if swinging over the body. Expansion. I feel pain on 2 balls in the left shoulder blade. I accept. It should just go out, open the body. I relax my left breast, side, shoulder blade, watch. I stumble upon a black hard point in my heart. Castle. This decision: close the heart. Many incarnations have been adopted back. I'm not afraid anymore. In the hands appears a key, I open it. Expansion. In death there is no freedom. It's a concept. The pain is increased to 4 b. Automatically track the compression of the body. Letting go. I found many hidden painful experiences in my heart. I'm watching.
• Practice turned out strange, with failures and awakenings. Focused on the thought: "I woke up again," which appeared and tore the entire upper body of the pain. I'm getting deeper. Shoulder left with drilling pain in scores 5. Spider web. And then went the images (memories of different life moments): my yesterday's desire to eat something harmful (I hold a Christmas post) - I see in this a clear desire to forget through food; the desire to sleep is also forgotten, as well as desires: to drink alcohol, watch films, not to pay attention (do not comb or cut your hair), desire to relax and fatigue, sex with numerous partners, study or work, desire for enlightenment, at the basis all - resistance, the desire to avoid pain, to fall asleep.
• I see the country road among the spruce, this is the road to death, but I know there will not meet him there, only pain awaits me there. I look at the most beautiful sky - it's also death, only a little bit different - I do not know if it's the way? I only know that my next incarnation will be with the same pain as many previous ones ... Pain is a constant companion. What then is the point? - the question arises. The answer is in the image: the graceful cat is playing on the green saturated grass.

The article is in the status (game passed).

Meditation is not something to sit in an uncomfortable position, staring at the wall until the end of the days.

Meditation is life itself ...

All that is being realized is Meditation, any action in which the Light of Consciousness is shed, becomes meditative, which means that it is truly happy, sincere, fresh, deep and beautiful ...

Meditate :)

With LOVE, LIFE.